


The Doctor Among Them

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Because what major orginization doesn't have a doctor in charge, Humor, S.H.I.E.L.D., and Hortense bugs people, and Hortense does paperwork, and says funny things, and then the Avengers save the day, basically two doctors/shy nerds get together, funny stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:50:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is why i don't wear heels to work!" S.H.E.I.L.D must have had a medical staff. so what did the head of medicine had to deal with? between a mischief god trying to conquer the world, six superheroes, her cyclops of a boss, and two interns, Hortense finds her job just got a little more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crack in the Floor

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this story has orginal characters but, its not bad! Well, she's not a mary sue. Hortense Grimani is a sarky, slightly socially awkward doctor who works for S.H.I.EL.D.

"God! Those are some gorgeous cells! Wow! I mean- check out this plasma! Look! Right there! You see that? That's like a text book model!"

Working for S.H.E.I.L.D was not a safe job. It involved weird long hours, high risk situations, tons of paper work, working with annoyingly stoic agents and none of the perks of a social life. But, everyone once in a while, something came along that made Dr. Hortense Grimani very happy to have her job. At first it was having a whole team of less experienced doctors to boss and order around. Other times, it was being able to get under all the super duper secret agents' skins and point out every valid reason why they couldn't fire her. Right now she was thrilled to be able to have access to the super soldier's DNA. It tickled her pink to see such such divine samples. This was such superb blood; any doctor would kill to just examine it. It was a medical marvel.

"ex-excuse me? Doct- doctor? I just- I mean, the computer just gave the results- from the epidermis samples and I was w-wondering if you'd like-" the intern, Jessica, mumbled, holding a folder full of papers. Another perk of being the head of medicine was the fact that she could scare the shit out of practically anyone. She didn't know why but, everyone seemed a little terrified of her. And she kind of liked it. Abusing authority always made her day. This intern had been around about two months. She was good, well excellent actually; S.H.E.I.L.D wouldn't accept anything but the best, but this young doctor was still very shy. Whatever. Not Hortense's problem.

"Yep. I'll take a look at those," Hortense said taking the manila folder, numbers and chart peeking out, enrapturing her. "I'll need the Rogers' pre and post resuscitation scans."

"Right away, ma'am."

She chuckled a little as the intern scurried away. The doctor leaned against her desk as she eyed the results, her amazement slowly growing. Steve Rogers aka Captain America had been perfectly frozen in ice for almost 50 years. He hadn't suffered any brain injury or trauma, no loss of nerve connections or muscle dystrophy. He was perfect, the ultimate solider and man. At least that's what she got from the Eriksine medical journals. On her part, she had done the best job in resuscitating him. It wasn't like you could just pop a frozen human in a microwave. No, it had taken a lot of time and patience on her part. And also the fact that she had a doctorate in pharmaceuticals, endocrinology, rheumatology, and psychology. Besides, it wasn't the first time she had brought someone back to life.

Of course, once she had defrosted the sleeping legend, there was no "thanks" or shiny gold star for her. All she had got in return was a "when he gonna wake up?" from. Every. Single. Person. In. S.H.E.I.L.D. Every time she walked down the hall, morning/evening coffee in hand, all she heard was : "so when he is going to start moving?" "When is he gonna wake up?" "why isn't he up yet? Is something wrong with him? Maybe you should check him. Again." at which point Hortense would shout: " for the last time, Coulson, get out of my lab! I am drinking my frigging Starbucks and its 3 in the morning! Stop watching Captain America sleep!"

but, Steve Roger had woken up after a three months of carefully planned thermal exposure, while she had been on a contaminate sweep in New Mexico; Hortense hadn't even met him but, from what she heard, it hadn't been the gradual introduction to the 21st century like everyone had wanted. No, apparently, he had run right out into 21st century Times square. But, Steve Roger was fine, apparently. His motor, cerebral and physical functions were behaving normally. Hortense had felt medicinal pride as she analyzed the flawless data. A perfectly reanimated person, fully functional. Once again, a medical achievement of hers she could never share with the world. You know, because she worked for a top secret national protection initiative; She couldn't exactly go off to the Medicinal bureau and run her mouth about S.H.E.I.L.D and how she was brought this guy back to life. Fury would kill her. Twice. Fine. She was okay with that. No fame for Hortense. Cool.

She focused on the test results. Rogers' somatosensory system was properly reacting to all sensory tests. Normal responses to heat, cold, pressure, and vibration. Good. The job was done. Time to call it a night. Then her phone rang.

"Dr. Grimani." it was a command, not a question. Oh, Nick fury, always ordering people around. He was no doubt calling to give her some super duper secret agent update about the glowing Cube of Doom in the basement.

"What up, F-man?" Dr. Grimani casually said before wincing. Her palm hit her forehead as she realized how lame she sounded. Her staff stared at her curiously. She glared at them and they hurridely went back to their business, shamed to be caught staring. Oh, people.

"Don't ever call me that again," Nick fury said, as she blushed. Shit, why in god's name would she say?

"Never gonna happen again. Sir. So what's up? You never call anymore," Hortense teased. She heard Fury huff in exasperation. Nobody in S.H.E.I.L.D had a sense of humor or a quick wit or you know, a personality. So Hortense had taken it upon herself to supply all the jokes and one liners. Everyone was so damn serious.

"I need you and your company to move out, evacuate. Mission's gone critical."

"What?!" Dr. Grimani squawked, putting down the folder on her desk. "What do you- I can't even- the mission is- what?!"

"The base is at risk and we need to evacuate. Explain to me exactly what part of that sentence is not clear?"

"Fury, this is our home base, man. I just go all the doctor up here for a conference. And besides, we have all the data, samples, scans here. Not to mention all the-"

"Grimani, that's an order." The doctor let her head fall back and she breathed deep.

"Rank thing, right? Fine. Any other orders I should know about then?"

"We need you on the Helicarrier as soon as possible. We're mobilizing. We should be assembling the team soon and you ought to be there, Grimani," Fury commented in that cool emotionless voice of his.

"What!?" huh? what was he asking? "I am- what? Not to sound too much like a trekkie, but I am a doctor, not a care taker. I've had a nice little work break planned for the last year!" Dr. Grimani argued, not wanting an increased workload. She pinched the bridge of her nose. This was all very confusing to her.

"Grimani, don't argue with me. I don't need any more shit right now," Fury growled. In the background, Hortense heard the sounds of a chopper. He was probably on his way right now. She sighed, hopping up onto her desk.

"So the big old Council giving you trouble than?"

"We have more important things to take care of. I need you on the Helicarrier, especially since we might bring in some key players-"

"So, you got him? Captain Freezer-burn? Or Bruce Banner? I thought he wasn't into the whole S.H.E.I.L.D. Deal." Dr. Grimani said, as an she noticed an unfamiliar doctor following intern, Jessica. He was tall and lanky, a regular tall glass of nerdy water, with glasses. very new to the medical game, if his nervous, wide eyed, kid-in-a-candystore stare meant anything.

"We sent Agent Romanoff to recruit him," Fury said.

"Ah. So once again, with the force," Hortense said tiredly.

"We deal in force, Grimani. You have your orders-"

"But-"

"...yes?"

"Can't I just send Davis in? I want my vacation!" she whined.

"Grimani, just do it." click.

Great. Lovely. Brilliant. She put the phone back into its cradle. Jessica was still talking to tall glass of water. Did Hortense miss a memo? The immediate evacuation could wait; she had a rogue doctor.

"Hey, intern! I told you, you aren't allowed to bring your boyfriend down here!" the intern and new doctor both blushed.

"He's not my- he's new-he's the new intern here," Jessica sputtered out.

"Ah, the newbie. Great. I need you to pull out everything we have on Rogers'. Okay, Newbie?" she said, sharper than she had intended. The newbie quickly nodded his head and went towards the MRI room. Jessica handed Hortense the resuscitation scans, biting her lip.

"Where are the files?" the Newbie asked, nervously, peeking around the corner.

"Jessica, help Newbie."

Jessica gave a quick nod and led the Newbie to the files room, still blushing. Just what Hortense needed: office romances.

"Okay, everyone else, pay attention!" Hortense shouted getting the attention of all the doctors. "We are heading out to the Helicarrier tomorrow so we need to package all the expensive stuff! Lets make this quick, people! Fury's orders! " some of the more experience doctors groaned. You could feel everyone's annoyance. Everyone visibly slouched as they went about starting to package their equipment. She had a staff almost 30 doctors, the bare minimum and most of the time, they worked independently. There were about 500 S.H.E.I.L.D agents, most of which were here strictly for military skills and muscle. Hortense and her crew patched them and took care of the more...unusual injuries. At least one fully trained multi-skilled doctors had be stationed at S.H.I.E.L.D bases. Sometimes they worked in threesomes or pairs. But, every once in a blue moon, all the doctors would be stationed at the same base. Recently it had been occurring more and more frequently.

Fury was preparing for something. Everyone could feel it, especially Hortense who had to deal directly with Fury daily. She was the head of everything medical that went down in S.H.E.I.L.D, from supply inventory to employing new doctors to casualties and injuries. It was the dream job for Hortense. The doctors she worked with were the best in the world and they all looked up to her. They all understood the confidentiality their job required and performed like champs, bandaging all kinds of bizarre injuries: strange cuts and burns, unusually broken limbs, autopsies on things that were barely human. They were champions doctors and she was their leader. But, they moved under Fury's command so the medical staff packed up their lab without question.

Hortense sighed as she sat at her desk, the scans no longer interesting her. The doctors went around the lab, boxing up molecular biomass distributors and DNA & RNA sequencers, stuff that was too delicate to regularly carry on the Helicarrier. plastic containers full of samples and equipment were stacked by the door, ready to be carted out. They moved like busy bees, quick efficient workers in white coats. They were a good lot. She hoped they hung around.

Then came the rumbles. It started softly first, barely any movement. Just a deep quiet kind of wail that everyone had gotten used since the Tesseract had been moved into the basement, which the medical center was directly above. They ignored it. A beaker shook and fell off the shelves, the sound startlingly everyone. The shards were quickly picked up and thrown out. It was strange But, everyone just went with it.

Then crack appeared. Now that was odd. A single black needle thin line appeared after a particular violent tremble. It didn't seem dangerous. The staff continued to box up everything. Hortense, however, examined the peculiar line. It started as a narrow crack in the ground, running along the floor and leading up the wall. Then came the dreadful sound of something breaking, something inside the walls. Hortense winced as she saw the single line diverge and crawl up the wall, like the branches of a barren tree. It spider webbed, moving along the ceiling, creaking as it climbed. Everyone stopped now. The loud wailing underneath them and everyone was silent. Gunshots rang out.

"Shit!" Sam the anesthesiologist cursed.

"What was that?!" Ivy the resident cardiologist asked as she picked up the files she had dropped.

"Probably some target practice or something..." Davis the radiologist asked looking at Hortense. Davis had been the first doctor Hortense had ever hired nearly 7 years ago. Many doctors had quit or retired and occasionally died but, he had stuck around. Right now, he was looking to Hortense for some sort of guidance. Oh right, she was their leader.

The floor beneath them began to hum, then vibrate. Plaster started falling from the ceiling, as the room shook. Something was wrong. The ground trembled, knocking everyone off their feet, as if a rug had been pulled out from under them. Hortense shakily stood up, regarding the floor suspiciously. Something had been wrong for a while. Hortense swallowed, her throat tightening. Something big was going down, right beneath their feet.

"Doctor?" Jamie asked, snapping Hortense out of her daze. She reached for the phone and quickly dialed Fury's number. It rang and rang. No answer. Frustrated, she slammed it down into the cradle. Stupid phone. Then the floor moved and the crack deepened, splitting apart and moving under their very feet. It shifted again, like a fault line, one half above the other. Everyone grabbed something to hold onto. The tremors now felt like small earthquakes. The world around them began to shake.

"Please evacuate!"

The emergency alert system must have finally been activated. A bit late for that. The whole lab seemed to be sliding toward the deep crack in the floor, loose chairs and tables gravitating towards it. Shit.

They rushed to the sealed door, opening it with a soft hiss. She was the last one out. It was chaos outside. Armor clad guards headed downstairs while other personnel and intelligence officers headed for the stairs. Behind her, she heard an enormous cracking sound.

Hortense turned just to see the her whole lab get swallowed up. The floor cracked open like an eggshell. It splintered and fell away as debris rained down from the floor above. Dust and falling rubbish clouded the air. When it stopped and the dust settled there was just a doorway, leading to a pit full of slabs of metal and cement. It was too much. Too much noise. The heavy thundering of rocks sliding and hitting each other and people running and screaming. The crack of glass and the squeal of iron. The only thing louder was her own heartbeat which pounded furiously in her chest.

"Move people! Up the stairs!"

The Tesseract must have been reacting or something. Big nuclear explosion maybe. How the hell should she know!? She wasn't no freakin' scientist but, the whole building was in trouble. Large cracks ran along the walls as the doctors and agents raced to get out of the building, splintering and diverging just as they ran. The foundation was cracking. Dust fell and the lights flickered on and off teasingly. Everyone was running up the stairs, among the mob, Hortense could pick out 30 people in white coats. Her people. She was behind the large mob.

Then there was a scream from behind, just as she to got one foot on the stairs. Aloud ear piercing wail of someone in pain. Hortense stopped, doctoral instinct kicking in. she peered into the corridor, trying to discern something. It was too hazy to make out anything. the light was clouded and yellow with dust. She couldn't see a damn thing. The building rumbled again and she reached out, leaning against the wall. There wasn't any time. She couldn't help anyone. Suddenly those nine years of college felt very useless.

Her pocket move. Oh god, she had something alive in her pocket! Get it out! Get it out! Oh, wait. It was her cell phone.

"Shit!" she cried, flipping it open. "What?" she yelped. Worst time for a phone call ever. if it was her mom asking, begging her to come to dinner she was going to do something drastic.

"Grimani! Where are you?" came a familiar voice.

"Coulson! Man, am I glad to hear ya! What the hell is going on?"

"You need to get as far away as possible! We're-" static interrupted him. "Tesseract- compromised-"

"Coulson! I can't hear anything you sayin'!" Hortense hissed as she started running up the stairs, the deep rumbling getting louder. She coughed as the dusty air filled her lungs.

"Hawkeye- Selvig- door open- letting- Loki!" she could barely hear him over the clatter of ...well everything. Everything was crashing and tumbling and colliding. Everything was falling and making noise.

"No! You're loco! My lab caved in and the whole building is coming- aaaahh!"

Something heavy collided with Hortense. She lay on the stairs, pinned to it; She grasped the step in front of her and struggled to pull herself out from under it. But, her hands kept slipping. Oh god, please don't let it be a slab of rock! She didn't want to die in a stairwell with a gazillion tons of concrete and building on top of her. She didn't want to die of asphyxiation or paralysis or pressure or...fear. Her chest tightened as she attempted to calm herself down but, panic welled up in her. Her phone was in front of her, but out of reach. She could hear Coulson repeating her name. Then suddenly the pressure was gone and she heard a familiar voice.

"Dr. Grimani! Oh my god! I am so sorry! I just like totally ran you over! We were looking in the file room for the files you wanted and the floor started to shake and we tried to get out and it took a while because a cabinet had fallen in front of the door. We need to get out like, now!"

it was Jessica, the intern. It was a strange thought but, Hortense was pretty sure that was the most Jessica had ever said to her. In person. Hortense stared at her, not listening to her at all. No, she was totally mesmerized by the fact Jessica had just stepped on her phone. Wait, what was she saying? Oh, Jessica had fallen on her. Another hand supported her back as she stood up. It was the Newbie. He had collided with her as well. A chunk cement hadn't fallen on her. Just a couple of nervous fumbling interns. okay.

"So sorry again, Doctor! I didn't mean to-"

"Great! Lets go!" Hortense suggested as they endured another violent tremor.

"I think that's the best idea I've hear all day!"


	2. Back to Work

"This is why I never wear heels to work!" Hortense shouted over the clamor of the falling debris. Her interns ran up the stairs beside her, going two steps at a time. They were trying to get as much distance as they could. Her muscles burned as she tried to keep moving. She hated physical excretion. She had never been good at sports or track or anything really. Nope, she was an intellectual. But, right now she was long past caring. Right now, she was dodging cracked pieces of building.  
Hortense's breathing was ragged as she coughed on the dusty air. She held onto the banister pulling herself along as she felt her legs shake and tremble like jelly, threatening to give out. Don't you dare! She mentally chided. Her sides stung as she struggled to push herself forward. Oh god! She couldn't run much faster. Beside her, Jessica and Newbie struggled to keep up with her. Just keep moving.  
"Just keep moving. just keep moving."  
As she muttered her Finding Nemo mantra, Jessica tripped and fell to the landing, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. Her nice professional ponytail had gotten loose and it was covered in dust and plaster.  
"C'mon, Jessica! Just a few more flights!" Hortense said through gritted teeth as the loud crumbling grew louder from under her. She helped the lithe doctor up, slinging one of her arms over her shoulder. God! She was light. Newbie grabbed her other arm and they attempted to carry her up the rest of the way. Jessica's pulse was racing, 190 if Hortense had to make a guess. She needed to recirculate oxygen or she was gonna exceed her maximum heart rate and- not now, Hortense! Stop doctoring!  
Grasping the banister, she watched as the previous flight was swallowed up in torrent of smashed concrete and metal. It was like a rocky river, foaming and burbling, moving at a dangerously fast speed , swallowing more of the stairs. Her heart thundered in her chest, beating against her ribs. Were there people still down there? It didn't matter now. They'd be dead by now, she thought morbidly.  
The stairs experienced a violent tremor, almost hurtling Hortense off the banister. Oh crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! The breath caught in her chest as she stopped her fall. she held on, half suspended over the edge. Below her, the cement and torn stairs continue to swirl and writhe. Hortense's muscles tensed as she struggled to keep herself stationary. She was precariously teetering, half bent over the banister. She gripped the banister, her palms stinging at her tight grip. Hortense closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't fall into that swirling pit of metal and cement. no. no. no. she could hold on much later. she didn't have that kind of upper body strenght. her hair fell forward and she silently pleaded not to fall. her feet softly touched the ground and she expelled the breath she had been holding. Staggering back on to her jelly legs, she fell to the floor, terrified and shaken. And kind of pissed too. Worst. Workday. Ever.  
"Doctor- Dr. Grimani! There's a- door! Emergency exit!" Newbie said. Her head snapped toward him. And she saw it. Exit. Glowing in bold red letters. The red metal door that was in pretty much every building in the world but,you never actually ever used. They could get out. With new found strength she pushed herself up and outside.  
It was dark and just as noisy and chaotic. Helicopters were taking off everywhere. Hortense sputtered as her hair was whipped across her face.  
"Gahhh! Stupid helicopters!" she hissed, prying her brown locks out of her mouth and from her face. from here, it was obvious how extensive the damage was. The trouble was it, it wasn't just the building that was cracking; It was the very ground beneath their feet. Wing C was totally leveled by now and the once sturdy structure of wing A was wiggling and threatening to give out. It was an odd thing to see a building shake like a plate of jello.  
And everyone was running around, shouting about orders and protocols she probably should have known but never cared to learn. The basic idea was run. Run away. She didn't want to run anymore. Hortense wanted to collapse on the ground and just breathe. And sleep. Sleep sounded nice. But, when had it ever mattered what she wanted? Everyone was jostling and pushing her, so much that she could barely move. Jessica and the newbie stood beside her, looking as lost and confused as beaten starved newborn puppies. And to be perfectly honest, Hortense really had no idea what to do. She wasn't meant to be in the field. Her field was the lab that was now leveled and buried beneath rubble. Screw this. She wasn't gonna die here and neither were her interns.  
She ran toward the rows of military grade jeeps S.H.E.I.L.D kept. She could only hope her doctors were behind her and she prayed that the others had gotten out okay.  
The keys were in the dashboard which was an incredible bunch of luck. The engine came to life and she drove off. As she drove into the black desert night, Hortense watched in the rear view mirror as the S.H.E.I.L.D base was slowly pulled into the ground. Every once in a while, a tremor would run through the ground, shaking the jeep, twice causing her to swerve off the road. After a few bad roly poly jeep jokes, Hortense had just shut up and focused on the road. Her interns were silent, too stunned to do anything but sleep. Lucky bastards.  
What the hell just happened? She had just in her lab wit her doctors and Davis and- it was gone. The base, all her samples, equipment, profiles, paperwork, and...her doctors. Her little workers that she cared for. Sure, she was a bit of a bitch sometimes but- but- they were gone. Sure there was a small chance they had survived but, what if- Her eyes flipped back onto the road before her, two interns safely in the backseat and the little yellow lines leading her away.  
THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*  
It was daylight when Hortense finally stopped driving. Her foot had been almost glued to the gas pedal and her hands clutched the wheel as if she was hanging on for dear life. Which in away, she was. The long black highway led her away from the devastated home base. The wrecked home base that was now subterranean and a disaster site. But, that was over and she could stop driving. She pulled into a lonely desolate gas station that miraculously appeared on the horizon, just as the sun crept up over the distant rock formations. The car came to a stop in front of a dusty gas pump. That was the thing about the desert. Everything. Was. so. Goddamn. Dusty.  
No more driving. She never wanted to move again. Between the running and the stairs and the panic, her whole body was mess of raw nerves and sore muscles and strained ligaments and...and... With a sigh, she dropped her head onto the steering wheel, breathing deeply. It was over. The knot in her belly slowly began to loosen. She chuckled. This was the first time she had driven in about ten years since she had moved from the city to S.H.E.I.L.D. Oh god, that was hilarious! She chuckled, slouching in the seat, all her muscles turned to jelly. She was exhausted and hungry and had gotten more exercise in one night than in a whole week. There was a reason people made elevators.  
In the rear view mirror, Hortense saw Newbie and Jessica the intern sleeping, their heads leaning together. They were kind of adorable, in a sweet and slightly inappropriate way. They looked like exhausted tired children, both of them so young and bright eyed. Well not now, because they were sleeping and their eyes were closed. At least some people had gotten some sleep. Hortense rubbed her eyes and stretched her sore muscles. God, she really needed some coffee. Bad. Like now. Hortense looked back into the mirror and noticed a black van parked behind her, with a familiar suited figure leaning against. Well now...  
"What's up, man?" Hortense caroled, stepping out of the car, happy to see she wasn't the only survivor of the earthquake thing. She wasn't usually this cheery but that's what sleep deprivation did to some people.  
"Well, I recently watched HQ be reduced to rubble but, on the plus side I met Him," Coulson said a happy grin spreading on his face. He took off his dark shades and tucked them into his coat pocket.  
"Ste- Captain America? Did you fanboy all over him?" Hortense said slyly. Coulson's smile dropped.  
"No! I didn't- why would-" He sputtered.  
"Never mind. How was it meeting your childhood hero, then?" Hortense asked, too tired to be bothersome. Coulson began to glow again, radiating all his glee and joy.  
"it was- it was perfect. He was Captain America! Exactly like everyone had described and more. I don't have any doubts-"  
"Great, fanboy. What are the chances that the gas station is open?"  
THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*  
"Powdered or chocolate?" Hortense asked debating the age old question of which donuts to get.  
"Hmm?" He asked, peering at his phone no doubt trying to get signal from inside the gas station.  
"Chocolate or powdered donuts?"  
"Both," Coulson said automatically, eyes on his phone. Hortense grinned.  
"See, I knew there was a reason I was friends with you," Hortense said, grabbing two packages of donuts. "You didn't totally lose all human quirks when you joined S.H.E.I.L.D." it was true. Coulson was the only one who she didn't constantly make fun of. She only teased him a little bit.  
"Oh, and here I thought you just enjoyed my company," he said absentmindedly, fiddling with his phone.  
"Oh, poor naïve Coulson. You have so much to learn," Hortense teased, pulling three liter of Poland springs from the refrigerator. "So to the floating sky boat thing then?"  
"yes- I mean, what?" Coulson asked puzzled. Hortense dropped all her snacks on the counter. The clerk, a teenage boy with tons of freckles and shaggy red hair, lazily scanned the items.  
"you know! Floating fortress thing?" she said. Coulson remained confused and well...more confused. "The helicarrier, ninny! What other floating sky boat thing is there?"  
"You could have just said Helicarrier," Coulson commented as the tired clerk scanned her pringles and donuts. "You know, sometimes I am surprised you work for S.H.E.I.L.D. You're just very...unorthodox." unprofessional. He wanted to say unprofessional. Hortense just knew it.  
"Shut up. I drove all night long." Hortense said, lifelessly. She was too tired. " And I'll have a coffee too, kid."  
"That'll be $32.45," The clerk drawled, placing a steaming cup of caffeinated goodness in front of her.  
"Okay-huh what?" Hortense said,feeling the empty pockets of her lab coat. She didn't have any money. Because her money was still in her wallet in her desk. At head quarters. which collapsed. Crap. Shit. Fuck. Damn it. She stared at her pringles, her donuts and the coffee and almost felt like crying. Almost. No. there was no goddamn way she was leaving without her coffee. Or her pringles. But what could she do? steal it? no breakfast for Hortense then. This was what happens when you work for super secret govermnet agency- ah ha! Idea.  
She stared at Coulson, trying to telepathically share her plan. he looked from her to the clerk to the food to her. Her eyes were wide open and she was trying to communicate her idea to him. C'mon, Coulson. Don't be a ninny. C'mon, man. She fake coughed and after about half a minute the secret agent got it. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew his shiny official badge. The teenage clerk leaned over the counter to look at it, his oily face scrunched up.  
"We need to confiscate these items for national security reasons. I am sorry to be of any convience but, this is for your safety, young man," Coulson authoritatively stated, smoothly tucking his badge back into his jacket and sliding his dark official glasses on. He had the super-secret-agent thing down to a tee. Hortense grinned as she carried her food and her coffee.  
"Oh! And we'll also be requiring two more cups of your coffee. For you know- security...reasons and governmental …...things," she added with a sly smile.  
"Don't push it, Grimani."  
"Don't make me go all kung fu on your ass," Grimani threatened, staring the kid down. He gaped at her before she moved towards him. He flinched and went about making her two more cups of coffee. Hortense grinned and drank some of the coffee. God, that was better. Now she was back to her old snarky self.  
THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*  
"Lazy bums," she said, opening the passenger side door. Her interns were still slumbering in the jeep. And here she was, sleepless and exhausted, muscles soar and they were snoring. Kids today. Taking the plastic wrapped powdered donuts, she chucked it at them.  
"Gah!"  
"I'm up! I'm up! No more!"  
they both woke up violently, banging their heads on the top of the low ceiling. They groaned.  
"what happened?" Jessica asked blinking at the sunlight.  
"What didn't happen? Look, just- you or Newbie has to drive. I am gonna get some sleep in the back of that jeep, drink coffee and eat my pringles."  
"After you fill up the tank," Coulson added, peering at the dashboard.  
"After I fill up the tank," Hortense said,chugging down some more coffee. "yo! Cashier, hook me up!" she called to the clerk, who was stumbling out the door to fill up the tank. Meanwhile Jessica and Newbie were opening the donuts and munching in them; they moved with slow sluggish movements.  
"So Coulson, brief me. What went down last night? And if you ask for my clearance, I'm gonna kill you."  
"The tesseract. It created a portal, through which a hostile being came through."  
"Isn't Fury supposed to not make that happen?"  
"It was unexpected. Nobody saw it coming. No one even knew what the tesseract was-"  
"Exactly! So why were we digging around messing with something that we obviously don't know and probably never could control? What kind of hostile was it? Martian men this time?"  
"How about a god?"  
"Like Thor? You gotta be kidding me!"  
"It was Loki. Thor's brother actually."  
"Well, that's just frigging fantastic, man. How was New Mexico by the way?"  
"fine. Saw a fire breathing robot. Oh and funny thing happened on the way to Thor's hammer-" Coulson's cell went off with a loud bothersome beep. "Fury" he mouthed. Hortense rolled his eyes. the cyclops. greeeaaattt.  
"Hello, director. Yes- we're safe. A small gas station outside of- yes, we're there. Helicopter? That's be great. Grimani is one of her moods." her head snapped up at the mention of her name. "yeah. I know. See you soon then."  
"So? What's Fury got to say?"  
"He's expecting us in an hour."  
"I hate him."  
THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*  
there was a casualty list. As soon as Hortense had stepped off the helicopter and onto the floating flying boat thing some personell officer had shoved the folder full of names into her hands. She was kind of ticked. All she wanted to do was nap and sleep but, that was impossible with the chaotic bustle of everyone on the Helicarrier. Also there was the fact that her entire lab had been swallowed up. Crap. They would have to be rebuild all those files. There was no way around it. Sighing at her quickly disappearing chance of slumber, she opened the folder, glancing at the names. Leaning against the gray walls, out of everyone's way, she sat down to read. All around her, military persons did military things, strapping down planes and weapons and the like.  
"Um...Doctor? Shouldn't we go to the lab?" Jessica asked nervously, standing in front of Hortense.  
"Yeah, we probably should," she said, not even looking up.  
"Well. We've got a whole bunch of stuff to do, you know, with all the lost information. So shouldn't we get to working?" with a sigh, Hortense closed the folder and craned her neck up to look at Jessica.  
"Go bring me all of the Avenger posse's medical files. If you can't find them, remake them. I am talking medical history, genes, psychological profiles, allergies and stuff. Okay?"  
"Okay," Jessica said, moving to leave.  
"Oh! And take Newbie with you. I don't want to train a new doc right now." Jessica ran off and Hortense relaxed by the side of the building. After scouring the sheets, she began to notice a trend. Most of the dead were unfamiliar to her but, every once in awhile she come across a name. Or two. Or three. Her doctors. They were all dead. Sam. Caitlin. Jared. Even Davis, the radiologist she had first worked with. He had been her friend. But, they were all gone. Their cold bodies were probably already in some morgue on the ground, waiting for burial or cremation. She quickly flipped through the pages, counting up all of the familiar names. Yep, 29 dead doctors. And all she had to work with now was Jessica. And the newbie. A shadow fell across her paper and she looked up to find Fury standing over her, his one good eye glaring at her as she sat cross legged like a kindergartner.  
"We have problems."  
great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please leave me a comment or a kudos! It would be greatly appreciated.


	3. Office Romances Suck

"We have problems."

Great.

"Oh, hey, Boss! Fancy meeting you here! How goes it?" she asked. Hortense tried to sound as casual as possible but, her voice came out squeaky and high pitched. Fury was silent, glaring down at her as she sat criss-cross apple sauce on the ground.

"Grimani, I need you working."

"Does that mean I have to get up?"

"Grimani!" Fury growled.

"Nevermind! I'm up!"

THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***

"So how was your weekend then?" Hortense politely asked as she and Fury strode down the corridors. Fury just gave her a dirty look with his one good eye.

"Hey! Just trying to make conversation! Jeez!"

"You should be working."

"Okay, I admit it. I should probably be working. Oh and speaking of work, you wanna tell me exactly what decimated my staff!" she hissed at her boss as she avoided colliding with people coming down the halls.

"We experienced an event last night, an unforeseen anomaly."

"No shit," she muttered, quietly under her breath. "I don't think I would 'forsee' it either, if I only had one eye."

"You say something, Grimani?" Fury sharply said, as they turned a corner. The director no doubt heard her mean comment and somewhere in the deep, dark, buried, way down there part of her mind she felt bad.

"No, sir. Didn't say a thing, sir. Sir," She said, her voice sarcastic and syrupy.

"Many of our agents were compromised but, that doesn't mean we can just slack off. There is work to be done and-"

"Jesus Christ, Fury! I know! I've been staring at the dead list for the past hour," She said, shoving said list into his chest. "But, can't you just have a bit of decency! We lost people. We lost your frigging Head of Science! Even if we got the Tesseract back whose going control it, if we don't have Selvig? Its not like you can just pick up a quantum physicist with a background in theoretical astro science off the streets! And what do you want me to do? Huh? They're all dead-"

"They're compromised. Not deceased," Fury calmly said.

"WELL THAT'S JUST- wait, huh?"

"Dr. Selvig, along with several agents, including Agent Barton, joined Loki. Loki was the-"

"Martian man? Hop-through-tesseract guy?"

"...Yes. In away," Fury said. They had arrived at the lab. Inside, Jessica was showing the Newbie around. And were they...were they flirting? Yes! Newbie said something and Jessica gave a laugh, a shy little smile on her face. Well, this day couldn't get any worse.

"Grimani, are you paying attention to me?"

"What- yes! Yes, I am, sir. Boss. Fury. So, Barton really switched sides? That's...unexpected. I mean, hey, Selvig always had slightly unstable tendencies that I did outline in his medical profile but, Arrow man? He's totally not back-stabby! That's really weird," Hortense said, puzzled by this strange of events. Psychology was a science and an accurate one if you knew what you were doing. And Hortense did know what she was doing. So why would Barton switch, out of the blue, to the dark side? It wasn't logical.

"He didn't switch sides, Grimani. Loki, he used some sort of mind control on him."

Well.

Duh.

Now, it all made sense. Why else would Fury be so determined to see her working? After all, who knew more about mind control than Hortense Grimani? No one, that's who. Still, after all her work, she was skeptical. The words 'mind control' were thrown around a lot these days.

"Are you sure it was mind control? Likely totally positively sure? Maybe Loki was just really really persuasive."

"No. Loki tapped Agent Barton with his scepter."

"...you might want to rephrase that, Boss." Inwardly she giggled at her dirty mind. And also the frustrated flustered look on Fury's face was pretty damn hilarious. He was FURY-ious.

"Grimani! He had a scepter. Loki tapped Barton's chest with it and his eyes bled black and then blue. Ice blue. Barton shot at me. He's on Loki's side as his loyal dedicated slave," Fury spat out. "They all are. Dr. Selvig, the security we had guarding the the Tesseract, the energy specialists and Agent Sullivan. I need you to find away to reverse the mind control. Until then, Loki had the upper hand. He can do whatever he wants: Dominate the world, destroy it with the Tesseract, double park in handicapped spaces. Whatever he wants! We have the disadvantage."

"Hopefully, not for long," Hortense said. Mind control. She could handle that. Two interns who were attracting like magnets on the other hand...

"Okay, Boss. I'll get right on it."

"Good."

He stopped frowning, which was Fury's equivalent of a smile. She glanced into her lab. Newbie and Jessica were still making sheep eyes at each other. Office romance. Great.

THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***

Hortense was contemplating murder. She worked for a high security secret government division that probably wouldn't be too concerned if she maybe strangled two interns who wouldn't stop chattering. She should really have been working, rewatching the cosmic cube of doom have a light show then plop a Norse god down. She honestly had no idea what she was looking for. Mind control. Right. But about 10 feet from her, seated at a lab table, her two doctors were respectively typing away at their respective computers. Oh yes. And they were shamelessly flirting.

"So, where'd you go to school?"

"Oh, Hopkins! And you?" Jessica asked, casually brushing her black hair over her shoulder. Stop flirting! Hortense mentally shouted, glaring at her interns.

"I went to Harvard Medical."

"Really? I hear they've got a pulmonology department," Jessica said shyly, blushing. Newbie's face lit up.

"Oh yeah! Its brilliant, actually! We had the best scintigrapher. It predicted positron emission so accurately! It was just... amazing, really," Newbie explained, a dreamy look in his eyes. Pssh, scintigrapher. Hortense ordered two last month for her lab. She sneaked a peek over at her two lovestruck interns. Damn it! The worst part was they weren't just doing it right in front of her but, that they did their work, too! Who flirts and works at the same time? She couldn't even reprehend them!

"That sounds great. I never really got into the diseases of the respiratory tract. I focused mostly on surgery."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Qualified surgeon here. I am hands on kinda girl!" Jessica eagerly said. Enter awkward silence here, Hortense thought maliciously to herself as Jessica blushed furiously. She quietly snickered. The awkward silence claims another victim.

"That sounded better in my head," Jessica muttered, quickly retreating back into her shell.

"Surgeon, huh? I tend to be more into throats and mouths. Oh, god. Is their something wrong with us?" Newbie said, with a nervous laugh. Yes! Yes! Something is very wrong with you both! Jessica laughed at his poor attempt of humor, turning a perfectly good embarrassed awkward silence into a bonding 's hands were in her hair, pulling on it, trying not to pay attention to this ill courtship. It was grinding on her nerves. Didn't they understand that office romances never everended well?

"No worries. I won't tell if you don't," Jessica said, with a flirtatious smile.

"Oh, for the love of God!" Hortense said, standing up quickly. She head straight for the door.

"Dr. Grimani- what are you doing?" Jessica asked, surprised at her unexpected behavior.

"Not your business!"

"Where are you?"

"Not here!"

"Why?"

"42!" It made sense.

"What should we do then?"

"Not each other!"

Hortense strode out the door, purposefully and determined with no actual plan.

Office romances seriously suck.

THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVEGNERS***THE AVENGERS***

There was only place in the entire Helicarrier that was guaranteed to be empty: the Science Lab. After all, the whole science staff had become Loki's personal pliant puppets. So it was nice, quiet and most importantly, empty. And Selvig's computer was surprisingly easy to hack.

"Okay, Loki. Whatcha you got?" Hortense murmured to herself as she replayed the video of the asgardian stabbing the guards.

"Well, he's definitely not human," She observed as she rewound the clip to where he made a 25 foot bound. She zoomed in to focus on the god's face just as he arrived. She was amazed by what she saw.

"Damn!" she swore. "We must have the best video system in the world!"

It was true; the closeup of Loki was superb. It must have at least been 1080 HD resolution. You could clearly see every curve, contour, and shade of this guy's face. It was truly great. But, the god himself, well, he didn't look very godlike. No, he looked exhausted if anything.

Hortense played the clip. She had never really paid close attention to mythology when she was in high school. But, weren't Gods supposed to look...good? Loki, he looked like he had been hit by a truck while sleepwalking. His face was pale and sweaty and dark circles hung under his eyes. His cheeks were sunken and his pallor seemed so chalky and sickly. And his hair! It was long, pitch black, and looked as if he washed it with oil.

Still, some people would consider him attractive, if you liked tall, dark, and maniacal, Hortense thought, as he hurtled a shot of blue electricity at various S.H.I.E.L.D, Agent Barton include. Oh, magic stick thing! Loki easily took out the security team as they shot at him. The bullets didn't hinder him at all. Loki paused and looked around anxiously, looking all too much like a caged tiger. Correction: he looked more like a predator looking for his next prey: Barton.

Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. ZOOM! Hortense clicked the button ferociously watching as Barton tried to shoot Loki. With movements inhumanly fast, Loki was in front of Barton, grinning sinisterly. The god tapped Barton on the chest with the stick. The agent's major neck veins swelled as a pulsing blue something moved through his veins and up towards his eyes. Barton's sharp eyes bled from black to icy blue, the same shade of Loki's scepter. Hmm. Interesting development. And he put the gun away, looking towards Loki for guidance? Adoration? The winning lottery numbers?

"Uh, excuse me, this is the... science lab, right?" oh no.

Hortense quickly swiveled around to face the newcomer. Hortense hadn't ever seen him before. He was a nervous man; He wouldn't stop looking around, almost as if he was waiting for something to bite him. He looked kind of familiar though. Dark hair, glasses, average height, looked and dressed like a nerd. Did Fury already replace Dr. Selvig? The guy glanced at her nervously. What? Was there something in her hair? Oh! He was waiting for her to speak.

"Uhhhh...no. This is mine. I am the Head of Medicine for S.H.I.E.L.D. You have to go...somewhere. So, leave. Like now," Hortense said, shooing him away with her hand. He moved to leave when he hesistated.

"And the Head of Medicine needs a gamma anti-proton formulator for..?" the man asked in a snarky manner. Or maybe she imagined that he sounded snarky. He was acting a little bit like a smart ass.

"Recreational purposes?"

"Oh, really?" the man asked.

"Grimani!, what are you doing here? You get kicked out of your own laboratory again?"

"vell, vhat do ve have here?" Hortense said, in a horrible version of a Russian accent.

"If I didn't know you, I would find that horribly offensive," Agent Romanoff a.k.a the Black Widow calmly stated, arms crossed. "Dr. Banner, this is Dr. Grimani, our Head Doctor. Dr. Grimani, this Dr. Banner. He's assisting in locating the Tesseract. He is a specialist with gamma-"

"Oh! You got the..."Hortense pantomimed a smashing monster, complete with fake roar. She grinned, as the scientist shifted nervously, obviously uncomfortable with this subject. "That's cool. Awesome, actually. Speaking of which, Banner man! I need to see you later. You see, their was this whole explosion thing at our ground base so we lost all our files, including yours, so I need to recreate it. Okay? Nothing much, just blood type, some skin cells, a little psyche profiling. Basic health stuff."

"Grimani, I highly doubt Dr. Banner will have any time to-"

"Don't care. Speaking of which, I should get going. I have certain arrow-shooting, bird-brained agents to release from a certain mischief god's control." Hortense watched, as Agent Romanoff ever so slightly tensed. Agent Romanoff, as detached as she liked to act, had a soft spot for agent Barton. He had apparently spared her life or something.

"Can you undo Loki's spell?" Agent Romanoff asked. She appeared cool and casual to the untrained eye but, Hortense had worked with her for years. Okay, "worked with" really only consisted of having short medical conversations about mission related injuries and the occasional greeting. But Hortense had put together a whole report on the behaviors of trained agents, the Black Widow being the prime example. Her silence spoke volumes to Hortense. This was truly painful for her.

As casually and silly she might behave, Hortense couldn't bear it if she lost anyone else, either to death or mind-controlled. She was a doctor. She was supposed to save people, not let them go.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that."


	4. Taking Care of Business

Hortense was on a mission. Mind control. She needed to find a cure for it. She strode down the hallway, full of purpose and conviction. Lesser S.H.I.E.L.D employees cowered as she strode by; she was the head doctor. She took orders directly from Director Fury himself! And she had a purpose. Hortense also had two brilliant doctors who were slowly becoming idiots in love. The rubber soles of her shoes squeaked as she sharply turned a corner.

"Interns! Stop flirting!" She announced storming into the medical laboratory, carrying loads of gray government files, the S.H.I.E.L.D emblem on the cover. Jessica and Newbie jumped apart.

"What? How did you-"

"We were not, in any way, flirting-"

"Shut up," Hortense simply said, giving each of them a set of files. Like good little doctors, they read over the information, processing it with A-grade efficiency. Hortense leaned against the white lab table. "Look, we are running this show now. You two are the only doctors I have and I need you to do what I say. That means we have to actually work. And I mean, legitimately work," Hortense explained, punctuating her point with a slap of her hand on the table. "Newbie, you ain't use to this, but we're really only on site to take care of any immediate injuries or for any special medical emergencies. We don't normally see a whole lot of action. But, if somethings going down and S.H.I.E.L.D is facing a threat, we're probably gonna see burns and bones. Are you both following me?" She asked. they both nodded.

"Okay, We've got a list of compromised agents, a total of 52 persons that are unaccounted for, mostly like dead or possessed by a Norse god who desperately needs a good night's sleep. Okay? So, here's what we are going to do. Jessica, you wrote your thesis on behavior and treatment of criminals suffering from psychosis and severe complexes, right?"

"Yeah...," Jessica said uncertainly.

"Beautiful. I need you to become an expert on Norse mythology within-" Hortense looked at her worn watch. "Hmm... 3 hours."

"Right..." Jessica absently said, looking over the files Hortense had prepared for her. It included a lot of archaic fairytale and essays on the deity. Most of it, Hortense had 'borrowed' from Selvig's computer. "Pretending that is even humanly possible, why am I doing this? I mean, Norse mythology? Really?"

"Glad you asked. That's the threat we're facing. A god, actually. Loki. Ever hear of him?"

the doctors shook their heads.

"Yeah, me neither. But I need you to find out everything you can about him. I want a psychological profile on him. Obviously there is something funky going on in that brain of his. Maybe lucrative schizophrenia, a superiority VS. inferiority complex. Whatever! If we could get some sort of picture of his mental landscape, we could probably predict what he'll do next."

""I'll get right on that," Jessica said, pulling her blonde hair into a ponytail. she trotted off, entering professional-government-doctor mode.

"Newbie, I need you to figure this out," Hortense said, pulling his attention away from his co-worker. She tossed him a flash drive; Hortense had put the footage of Loki and the Tesseract on it. "Mind control. That's one of Loki's weapons. Please tell me you don't believe in magic.

"I don't believe in magic?" he said unconvincingly.

"Great. Just what I wanted to hear. You'll need to get me theories, cures, remedies, a blueprint, anything, you can dig up that can help us. We need to undo the mind control, whether it be chemical, cognitive, spiritual or hypnosis. If we don't, we'll be running on fumes. Got it? Great!" Hortense said, about to run out the door. She needed to get more information out of Fury.

"Wait! Wait, Doctor! Hold on a sec! Mind control? Like legitimate I-control-your-mind-now mind control?" Newbie asked, disbelievingly. Hortense shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah. What other mind control is there?'

"But, Isn't that like something out of science fiction?" Newbie asked, his mouth gaping like a cod fish. Jessica gave him a sympathetic look. It was hard being the newbie.

"He's cracking, Jessica."

Jessica was more seasoned then him. Hortense had her under her wing for about 10 months and that was enough time to see all the weird things S.H.I.E.L.D had to offer. She had been over the whole oh-my-god-how-is-this-even-possible phase when those weird telepathic felines had hijacked a naval center and S.H.I.E.L.D had had to clean up the mess.

"We're on a floating ship discussing how a mythological deity is trying to take over the world," Jessica said, obviously.

"Yeah. Get some perspective, man," Hortense added, with a light slap to his shoulder.

"Oh, geez! Sorry for being normal! God!" Newbie said, throwing his hands up defensively. "I'll just go to this corner so I won't infect your sci-fi stuff with my...normalcy!" he said playfully. With a little grin, he left the table, taking his pile of folders. Hortense smiled as she watched Jessica's gaze linger on him. Jessica froze as she caught Hortense looking at her.

"There really isn't any flirting. I mean- he's not- we would never-"

"I approve," Hortense calmly said.

"Really?!" Jessica said excitedly

"Yes. As long I don't find you to making coitus on the lab tables," Hortense nonchalant said, fixing her lab coat. Jessica's faced blanched. "I'll just go do what I do best."

"What's that, Doctor?"

"Annoy my superiors."

THE AVENGER***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGER***

"Hi."

"For God's sake, who let the doctor onto the main deck?" Agent Hill complained, as Hortense grinned broadly. She wasn't normally an overly cheery person , but everyone on board was always so damn serious. She had no choice but to have the same enthusiasm of a kid on an Easter chocolate/candy rush.

"Top level access. It's great. You should try it sometime," Hortense said with a near insane grin, swaying back in forth. Agent Hill's eyes narrowed in anger. the doctor ignored her. Hortense liked the main deck; It was big and spacious, with rows of people fiddling on computers. She especially liked the huge windows, which made the room feel so much more grandeur and important. It was fantastic to sail through the nighttime sky. She maybe working late on a Tuesday evening but, it was all worth it.

"Grimani, what have you got for me?" Fury said, entering the room.

"Oh well! I've got my interns researching this Loki guy. Basically, I think his mind control thingy is probably an electrical current. Or its transferred by an electrical agent. When he taps people on the chest, it might give a small voltage of electricity which might sever and reconfigure the proper route of the nervous synapses. basically it rewires the initial responses. Of course, that just gets the electricity to the brain via the nervous system. I think the electricity contains a code, a code that once it invades the brain transcribes and processes itself into the cerebral activity. Basically it acts like a virus. It invades the mind and feeds it bad information. The brain takes the information and uses it without a second glance. In return the brain is vulnerable; the virus has access to all of the brain's personal codons...huh...stuff like memories, emotions, lessons from school, your birthday, math facts, grocery list, everything the person is thinking or ever thought about. Usually you'd need a LOT of complex machinery to get access to that information but, I think Loki has access. Of course, that's just a theory. I could be totally wrong. Maybe. Possibly. 47 % likelihood I am wrong. Or I could be totally right! Mind control is...funny," Hortense said. She held her clipboard close to her chest, a grin on her face. The confused faces gave her an immense feeling of satisfaction. S.H.I.E.L.D: 0 Hortense: 1.

"...Good work then, Grimani," Fury hesitantly said. He had no idea what she just said.

"Yep. My guys are working on it. So what's new with Loki?" Hortense asked, checking out the touch screens that surrounded her.

"He's in Germany. We sent Roger and Romanoff to collect him, three hours ago. Stark joined in as well and they all are escorting the prisoner here. They should be here soon,"Agent Hill said, typing something into a touch screen. Images from security camera revealed Loki, the god of Mischief himself going to the…..opera? He was cleaned up; The bags under his eyes were gone and he was no longer sweaty. He still had his horribly dark black hair but, he wore a suit that would make Barney Stintson cream his pants. He didn't look half bad, actually. And he was tall. Really tall.

"So...what? He just came quiet like? You just sent a team to pick him up and he just hopped on board willingly? I thought this guy was evil."

"He is. I don't believe this is him surrendering. Yet," Fury said, standing tall and superior, the epitome of spyness.

"The team picked up a passenger. An Asgardian," Agent Hill said, intently pressing her much more advanced blue tooth thing into her ear (because, you know, she's a super secret agent so why would she own anything normal.) "It's Thor."

"Any trouble?" Fury asked.

"None so far. He's coming with them. Loki is still in custody. They're about 2 minutes out."

"Thank God for high level aero travel. Good. Prep the Cage for Loki."

"Sir?" Agent Hill asked, as Hortense hopped onto the briefing table, swinging her legs. Inwardly she was paying close attention to their conversation. Fury was really hung up on Loki. The Cage was reserved for the Hulk, if the opportunity ever rose. And what if the opportunity did a rise? And a certain god was sitting in the Hulk's play pen?

"Well, we're gonna need to store Loki somewhere. I some how doubt the broom closest would do the job.

"But, sir! What if Bruce Banner-"

"We'll have to keep our fingers crossed then," Fury said, leaving the room with a swish of his coat. "I'm gonna go check on our guest."

"Ooh! Ooh Can I come?" Hortense asked, jumping off the table, bouncing with excitement, while everyone around stared at her with a mildly displeased expression.

"Don't you dare leave her with me, Fury," Agent Hill said. Fury sighed, rolling his one eye.

"C'mon Grimani."

"Coolio."

THE AVENGER***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGER***

"So, I can't I get some samples off him?"

"No.

"A hair follicle?"

"No."

"Skin cells?"

"No."

"Saliva?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Grimani, no."

"Please?...Please?...pleas-"

"Say 'please' one more time. I dare you-"

"Director Fury! The prisoner is isolated and contained in the cage," a solider said, running up to them as they made their way down to the cage.

"Good. Grimani, Wait outside."

"What? I just-"

"Stay," He growled, pointing a finger at her. Hortense huffed, arms crossed. Cyclops. He was a bossy cyclops. But, she obediently stayed. As much as she teased Fury, she respected him. He not was the small minded, arrogant, mean, follow-order-or-I-kill-you man she had thought originally. Instead he had prove to be a wise and careful leader. He never went looking for a fight; fights found him. He had morals and was willing to look over past mistakes. That was a trait Hortense valued. She respected him.

But, she had the shortest attention span in the world. Like every self respecting mental health specialist, she had diagnosed herself with a mental disease, in her case, A.D.D. She really wanted to do the professional thing and stand there patiently, like the grownup college educated 29 year old she was. Instead she sat down against the steel walls, pouting like a six year old. That occupied her for half a minute. The rest she spent playing fruit ninja on her Iphone. She probably could have doing something more useful like check some memos or boss some people around or make dramatic speeches while wearing a catsuit or something. While slicing watermelons, her phone vibrated violently in her hand.

"GWWWAASSSHHH!" she yelped tossing the stupid piece of technology to the other side of the hallway. It had scared the shit out of her! Goddamn it! Cautiously, she stood up and neared the phone before picking it up.

Davis.

Davis was calling her. Wasn't Davis dead?

"Hello?"

"Grimani? My god, its good to hear from you! I mean, you probably have a lot to deal with right now! I mean- the base collapsed! It was so- and the debris falling- and the Tesseract! We didn't lose many did we?" said the familiar voice of Davis, radiologist extraordinaire, S.H.I.E.L.D doctor, and all around alive person. Hopefully. He sounded alive.

"Davis! You're alive? Hortense asked.

"Yes! I am! A little worse for wear but nothing bad. But, anyway, how bad is everything up at the helicarrier? Are you guys at defcon one or something?"

"No, its worse. Level Seven: office romance. Jessica and the new guy?"

"Oh, the new guy! Yeah, he's pretty cool. He told this joke a few days ago that was-"

"Davis, just don't."

"Okay. not a fan of him, huh? What's it this time?"

"He's just so- I don't know! I just don't like him. He's all shy and awkward, like he doesn't know what to do! Lets just say I am glad he's not all I've got," Hortense said, pacing up and down the hallway. she heard davis chuckle

"Remember your whole boatload of elite super doctors you have? Hmm? Forget about them? Again?!" Davis said, laughing. Hortense silently chewed her lip, not sure how to tell him that all of his co-workers were dead.

"Grimani? What- oh god. Did they-"

"Where are you?" she asked, putting off the invetiable question.

"A temporary S.H.I.E.L.D medical center. Nasty gash across my arm. Only injury luckily. Not as bad as some other people here. Grimani, what happened?"

"Did you see anyone else? Ivy? Sam? Charlie? That weird guy who brings up lunch?"

"Who,Donny? No, just a few security agents. i thought that everyone might be at another trauma center. There's a lot of dead though. I thought- I hoped most of our people had made it to the heli-"

"No, Davis. Its just me and the two lovebirds," Hortense whispered. Here comes the grief. Her throat tightened. Somewhere on the ground below, her doctors were dead, lying in a cold morgue or buried under wreckage. She wondered if they looked dead. Had they been burned, or crushed? Were they in pieces? Were there even bodies to be buried?

"Hortense, they said I could leave soon. Do you need me on the Helicarrier or have you got it under control?"

"Dear god, I need your help. Everyone's on edge up here. Fury assembled the Avengers."

"Its big, then?"

"Oh yeah," Hortense said, into the phone as the Cage's door opened with a hiss. Fury stormed out. Behind him, she caught a glimpse of Loki, the god. He was grinning. Yep, definitely a superiority complex. "Get your butt up here, Davis. We're gonna need all the help we can get."

"Rightio, Doc!" he hung up. Fury breezed by her.

"So what up, Boss?" Hortense asked jogging to catch up with him.

"We need the Tesseract," Fury stated, nearing the elevator. He crossed his arms and glared intently at the doors.

"Okay...and did you and Loki nicely negotiate it over tea?" Hortense sarcastically asked. He glared at her.

"God! It was only a joke, man! Ever heard of them? People use them to laugh. You know what laughing is? When your belly feels all jumpy and you make funny noises?" Hortense said, as the elevator opened and they stepped in.

"Grimani, this is not a joking matter-"

"Hahhahhahhaha HA!" She laughed, accentuating the last "ha!". His eyes narrowed even more. She rolled her eyes, calming down."So you need the Tesseract? Great. How are we gonna get it then?"

"That's a whole another story."

"Why can't we just skip to the end, then?" Hortense asked, putting hand to her forehead and wincing. She was beginning to get a migraine. Great. Fury didn't give her answer to the question. She hadn't been expecting an answer.


	5. Out of Coffee

Dear Ms. Emily Itou,

I am sorry to inform you that Ivy Itou is deceased. The circumstances of their death are withheld for security reasons. You were listed as Ivy Itou's next of kin. I personally would like to express my condolences for your loss. Ivy Itou was a great asset to S.H.I.E.L.D and their death was an unfortunate and sad loss.

However, you may not sue or publicize S.H.I.E.L.D in relation to Ivy's death. Part of Ivy's employment contracted stated that S.H.I.E.L.D can not be held legally responsible for the death of any of its employees and/or agents( see section5 paragraph 3).

I am sorry.

Sincerely,

Hortense Grimani

Hortense leaned back in her chair, sliding her hands up into her hair, pulling on the strands. what an ambiguous piece of crap. She slouched in her chair, sinking deeper into both the plastic and her despair. Fuck the world. Fuck death. Fuck fucking S.H.I.E.L.D. She couldn't think of a bad enough word to describe her...anger? Confusion? Stupid goddamn fucked up buggered life? Fuck it.

She accepted death. She had to; she was a doctor. Sometimes you slipped up, you didn't catch the disease fast enough or missed some symptons and their were consequences. And it sucked. But, without death, what have we to live for? An ominous invisible deadline, we all can help but rush toward it, building a whole wall of memories and emotions and possessions that shatter once we reach the end of the line. People died. Especially the people she worked with. It was nasty tendency that she had never been able to shake.

But, it was the living that always really pulled pity from her. The people, friends, family, lovers, who had lost this person. And she had to tell them. They probably hated her or resented her or blamed her in some way for taking away their friend/brother/fiancee/mother/the sweet little girl who I took to ballet when she was four. The most painful part might have been how constant these letters were becoming.

She closed her eyes, hoping to sleep for maybe 10 minutes. it must have been 1:30 and contrary to popular belief, doctors need to sleep. Just some time to rest her eyes and maybe pull herself together again. She had no idea what she was doing. She should be getting the medical information and rebuilding the files. She should be securing a temporary medical support team for the invertible battle Fury kept hinting at. She should- why wasn't she- files- death- office romance- loki- Instead she was sitting in the hallway, writing death letters on her laptop. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, exhausted.

Sleep.

It was good.

"Hey, Doctor."

"Oh, Fuck!" Hortense swore, jolting awake. Instinctually, she slammed her laptop closed. "-I mean, why are you here? Shit! I mean, hello."

"Hello," Agent Romanoff said, a smile ghosting her lips. "Bad day?"

"What? No!" Hortense lied. "Its all good! Under control. Smooth sailing. I mean- well, its a little bit tricky. What with the base being blown up- yeah, its a bad day." her laptop was slowing roasting her legs. She lifted it and stood up, stretching as she went. "How's it going for you? I can see your back to the catsuit," Hortense said, referring to the standard S.H.I.E.L.D skin tight ultra durable bodysuit every female agent was required to wear. The ladies in intell wore standard dark blue outfits. With skirts. Hortense didn't like skirts.

"Fury is having a meeting. An important meeting. You should be there."

"Ah. And he sent you to get me, then? No, big missions right now except go fetch the doctor," Hortense said, sadly realizing this wasn't an admittedly unusual friendly conversation. Kind of. Well it was the beginning of a conversation.

"No."

Okay...cryptic much? Hortense sighed, not really in the mode to decoded stoic Russian agent spy talk.

"...Right," Hortense said, confused. "So you're telling me this because...oh! This is a gesture of co-workery niceness. I get it!"

"For someone who constantly reminds us of her 10 years of college and impressive degrees and academic achievements, You're kind of dumb."

"It was actually 8 years; I interned for two," Hortense said tucking her laptop under her arm. Natasha hummed in neutral agreement. They headed towards the main deck, where most meetings were held. The corridors were empty since everyone had a job to do. You know, because of the whack job god who was trying to achieve world domination.

"So how is your research going? The mind control?" Natasha asked coolly, looking straight ahead. To anyone else, the agent appeared detached and casual but, Hortense wasn't just anyone. She knew behavior analysis and she also knew Natasha Romanoff. She snorted.

"Way to hide your interest!" Hortense said loudly, grinning like an idiot. Natasha was so fishing for information about Barton, even thought she would never admit it in a million years. "I mean, didn't you go to secret agent school or something?" She watched Natasha roll her eyes.

"I am not going to dignify that with an answer."

"Well then! but, yeah, its coming along. The mind control is simple enough; its not like brain surgery or anything- well actually sometimes, it is brain surgery but that's besides the point! I figure, cognitive recalibration is probably the solution, honestly. I mean, its not like Loki whipped out a portable internal cranial re-programmer and altered all of their- this is making no sense, right?" Hortense asked. Natasha ignored her question.

"Cognitive recalibration? What's that?"

"Oh! Hitting the brain washee on the head, hard. With a blunt object, ideally."

"And its gone? Poof?"

"Yep. Poof! The mental calibration is electrical from what I've been able to deduce. I have my intern looking into it more closely. I'll have a better answer in, i dunno-," Hortense explained, looking at her watch. "Maybe an hour and a half."

"Good." What was going on in the spy's brain?

They were quiet for a while, Hortense because she couldn't think of anything and Natasha because she didn't want to say anything. But, the was so much! So much drama and confusion and did she leave her oven on and Selvig and Barton were evil and Davis wasn't dead and and it wasn't helping that Natasha was being all cool and reserved while Hortense was having a panic attack on the inside and breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Say something!

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

"He'll be alright," Hortense said, suppressing a yawn. what?

"What?" Natasha asked. Stop it, brain. I command thee!

"Barton. He'll be fine. All you need to do is-"

"Hit him hard on the head? I think I can manage that."

"Yeah, you probably can," Hortense said quickly, biting her lip. She had to warn Natasha but, about what? Barton? The two spies had something between them. Whether it was sexual tension or bonding over a shared profession or joint custody over a cat, Hortense had never really been sure. The one thing What Hortense did know right now was that, Natasha's greatest threat was Barton. She was at risk. The reason Hortense didn't like mind control was because it was messy in so many ways. Nothing made sense when you put the two spies. Put them together and they would always surprise each other and everyone around them and usually cost S.H.I.E.L.D $500,000 in propriety damages. but, right now Barton wasn't Barton yet, he would probably use everything Natasha had entrusted him with and turn it on her.

"But, if he talks to you- if he tries to make you think he's him, he's not. Himself. Because, he's all brain twisted."

"I am not going to fall for that. He's under Loki's control. I got that."

"No, I don't think you do get!" Hortense said, standing in front of Natasha. Natasha regarded her shrewdly, in that cold killer Russian way of hers, and Hortense suddenly remembered this woman could probably kill her with a napkin. Gulp.

"Loki probably has access to all of his thoughts and memories. And emotions. He may talk like Barton. He may act like Barton. Not Loki. Loki won't act like Barton," Hortense said, correcting herself. "Barton will act like Barton but, he won't be Barton. Understand? He is Loki's puppet, not even a man. I know you two were close but, if it comes down to it, he won't spare you. Again."

Hortense stopped when she saw the dangerous look in Natasha's eye. But, Hortense stared back. There was too much at risk to lose her nerve now. "Loki has all the intimate details of this whole operation. You need to be careful." the words hung in the air as Hortense gulped; she hadn't realized she had been holding her breath.

"I always am," Natasha responded coolly, moving around the doctor. Hortense sighed, sagging slightly.

"Oh. Cool. Good. Well, I feel better," Hortense said, pressing a hand to her heart. She could feel her accelerated pulse. She was not good with people. At all. Natasha stopped frowning, her version of a grin.

"Oh, and we're out of coffee," the agent muttered.

"Crap!"

THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***

Jessica had never thought ancient myths could be so kinky. Accidentally, totally by mistake, in no way was it her fault that she stumbled upon pornographic Japanese creation myth. The link was right next to the Norse myths! And there was the whole weird Indian have-sex-in-various-animal-bodies. Yep, Jessica was pretty much scarred for life.

"How are you doing?"

Jessica squeaked and quickly exited out of the smutty web page she had been on, hoping the newbie hadn't seen anything (ANYTHING) that was on that page. She spun around in her swirly chair to face him.

"What? Um...nothing! I mean, Yeah! Its coming along. Loki Laufeyson. Turns out he likes horses. A lot," Jessica blurted out, while instantly regretting it. Horses? Why did she have to bring that story up?

"How do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. Jessica felt her face grow hot, think just how much Loki "liked"horses. Or how much horses liked him.

"Um...pass. How are you doing so far, Mr. brain washing?" she asked, nervously crossing her arms in front of her chest. It was only then did she realized, he was extending a cup of coffee to her with one of his long arms. She accepted it with a nervous smile.

"I think my whole world is coming down crashing down around me."

"Huh, really? So soon?" Jessica teased, sipping the warm drink. Milk. And a lot of sugar. Nice. A little bit on the sweet side but, not bad. Kind of like him.

"Yeah! I mean, I am going through all the research and it just BOOM!" Newbie said, slapping the table for emphasis. His voice was full of the enthusiasm of new discovery. "Mind explosion! Like everything my professors told me was wrong! And its just so-"

"Amazing?"

"Wrong."

Jessica frowned. He caught her expression and quickly amended his statement.

"No- no! It is amazing! I mean, I'd never would have thought we'd be able to rechannnel basic subconscious networking using anti-codons and nerve re-establishers! It so cool!"

"But?"

"But, isn't it just- I mean, it just-"He said, searching for the right words.

"Totally goes around every ethical boundary and rule you had drummed into you at Med school? Yep. Kind of," Jessica said, nibbling the edge of her Styrofoam cup. The newbie grabbed a chair and sat next her.

"Yeah. Did Dr. Grimani actually do all of those experiments? Because, who would volunteer to have their body-"

"They weren't volunteers. De-dead bodies mostly. Or prisoners. We do work for the government. We have access to this stuff."

"I-I just can't wrap my head around it. Whats up with Dr. Grimani? The whole thing screams-"

"I-am-a-crazy-and-manicial-genius-please-take-me-away?" they said in tandem. They eyed each suspiciously before bursting out laughing. it was nice to laugh. he was nice to laugh with. However the laughter slowly died down and they were left with the original question. Jessica gulped some of the coffee down, not really wanting to answer but, also not wanting to ignore it.

"I...can't really answer that."

"Is it because of, well...the whole dead bodies thing?" Newbie asked curiously.

"No its not that- Well, yeah, partially-"She said, setting down the coffee. "its just-it kind of her story and she needs to tell you it. If she wants you to know." He seemed to deliberate for a moment, staring intensely at the ground. She looked at coffee, milky brown.

"Just do your research and maybe after this whole crazy thing is over then, you should ask her. 'Kay? Oh, and thanks again," Jessica said quietly. His head snapped up, surprised.

"For what?"

"Well...for the coffee," She said, drinking some to show her appreciation. He smiled and blushed.

"Yeah. I was just in the lunch area...place," He said, nervously rubbing the back of neck. "and there was a pot of coffee and I thought you might like some. So I brought you some. Its not too much sugar?"

"Nope. Just right."

"Good. Because there's no more."

The drink suddenly turned rancid in her mouth and she spit it out. Thankfully, she didn't spit in the direction of the cute nice guy who brought her coffee but, on all...OF...HER...NOTES.

"Crap! Shit! Oh, excuse me! Shit!"

Jessica stood up suddenly, knocking over her chair in the process. In a desperate attempt to salvage her work, she tried to wipe off the coffee with her hand; The pencil marks smudged to gray blotches.

"Crap!" she yelped, throwing her work to the table.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Newbie asked, putting a hand on her back.

"Are you sure that was the last of the coffee?" Jessica asked, very slowly. He retracted his hand nervously, looking everywhere but at her face. In her hand, she had crushed the Styrofoam cup and milky coffee was now coating her hand. Great.

"Ye-yeah," He stuttered nervously.

"This is horrible. Grimani! she's addicted to coffee and if she minds out that you-"

"But, its not the end of the world. Right?" Newbie asked, giving a weak laugh as he helped her try and salvage her work. She regarded him for a moment.

"...she'd going to murder you in your sleep.

"Hey, guys."

HOLY SHIT! IT WAS DR. GRIMANI!

"What's going on?"

In a mad dash, Jessica quickly hid her coffee stained papers and Newbie chucked the empty Styrofoam cups across the lab. The both turned, side by side to face their boss.

"Nope! Zero activity here!" Jessica explained.

"We weren't doing anything. What were you doing? Read any good books lately?" Newbie said. Dr. Grimani eyed them suspiciously. Entering the lab, she strode slowly towards. Oh crap. She knew. She knew. And they were going to die. The doctor's dark eyes narrowed and Jessica felt faint.

"Shouldn't you two be working? Instead of doing nothing?"

"Yes! That is a great point! Fantastic actually! We'll get to working right now! Right, Jess?" he said loudly, taking all of the coffee soaked papers and balling them up. He moved backwards, a strained smile on his face. Dr. Grimani looked confused. Jessica was too.

"You are a strange child," Dr. Grimani said then turned to Jessica. "What dirt have you got about Loki?"

"Umm...um..." well, Newbie was now walking off with her notes. "L-l-l-lo-lo-loki h-h-h-has a superioty complex. Or I think so. He's part frost giant which is like the 'evil' race, in Norse mythology. Nobody likes them and they fight and pillage and are generally the antagonist in most myths. But, basically Loki was raised in Asgard, which is like the happy golden land, as Thor's brother, as an heir. So you see, you already has the the first basic rules: psychological damage via his heritage, racism which I'll get to later, and the fact that he is the son of the enemy of his surrogate dad," Jessica spewed, recalling everything she had written. Dr. Grimani nodded.

"Talked to me about the racism aspect."

"Oh! Well, the frost giants were basically looked down upon by everyone. They were lowly ugly stupid creatures that once conquered, were made fun of. So imagine you wake up one day, and you find out you are a member of this race after years of thinking you were royalty," Jessica said, watching as the doctor connected the dots.

"Deep psychological scars. He has a need to prove himself while at the same hating himself for his frost giant nature," Dr. Grimani concluded.

"Exactly. So because he feels so inferior and lowly, he wants to power and control and domination. An inferiority-superiority."

"Wow," Dr. Grimani said. "Excellent work. And we, as earthlings-"

"Midgardians."

"What did you just call me?" Dr. Grimani said defensively.

"Oh no! I wasn't calling you- Its their name for us. Midgardians."

"Okay. We, the Midgardians, are the perfect opportunity. He wants to rule over us. He wants great achievement, in this case supreme control of the earth, to compensate for his low self esteem and troubled mind. Duh!"

"So, what do we do?" Newbie asked.

"What do you mean: what do we do?" Dr. Grimani asked.

"It sounds like he can be treated. Therapy could probably help a fragile slightly psychotic mind like his," Newbie commented.

"No, Newbie, it doesn't really work like that. We just do research about the bad guys; we don't try to make them functioning members of society," Dr. Grimani explained.

"I don't think Loki can pull it off," Jessica said, the wheels slowly turning in her mind. It was starting to all come together.

"He's not goal oriented and Loki isn't a strategist. At least, he isn't in the myths. An invasion of this scale is very uncharacteristic of him. Using magic and manipulation to persuade world leaders to start World War Three, he would do that. But, actually rule it? No, he is not a monarch. He is the trickster."

"So why has he threatened to make all of humanity kneel down before him?" Hortense said, taking a seat.

"Maybe that's his kink," Newbie offered. Hortense gave him a what-are-you-stupid-look.

"He could be trying to prove himself. To Odin or Laufey, it could go both ways. What better way to get attention then dominate a whole planet," Jessica said.

"That's a good point. Because of the inferiority complex, he probably craves praise and attention but the superiority complex makes him too proud to admit it," Dr. Grimani said.

"Or! Or! He could be a puppet. I mean, after he was banish from Asgard there is no recollection of him. He was probably, mentally at a very vulnerable point. It would have been easy for a very persuasive someone to groom him into the conqueror of earth," Jessica said, excited. It made sense. Loki was powerful, with his magic and mind but, very much a loose cannon, more inclined to chaos then government. This invasions had all the markings of a bigger bad guy.

"I don't think so. I am leaning more to the attenion-wanting theory," Dr. Grimani said, scratching her head.

"I don't think he'll manage it. He lacks the conviction to pull it off. I also thinks he had ADD. Hiya, Coulson," Jessica said, as the agent entered the lab, looking proper and professional in his usual suit. It was very hard not to like Coulson. He wasn't as stiff as the other folks around here.

"Hi, kid. Grimani, Fury wants you on the main deck. Meeting time," Coulson said. Dr. Grimani groaned loudly, leaning her head downward, towards the chair. Suddenly she perked up.

"Anyone else smell coffee?" She asked suddenly. Newbie and Jessica reaction was the same.

"Hey, Doctor! You should probably get going!"

"Yeah, don't want to be late! That would suck!"

With a groan, the doctor left, trudging behind the agent. Once she was safely out of hearing range, Jessica collapsed into her chair, Newbie beside her.

"That was crazy. I thought she was onto us for sure!" Newbie said with a laugh.

"I can't believe you got away with taking her coffee! And you threw out my notes!"

"I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"Deal."

THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***

"I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his own personal flying monkeys."

"Monkeys? I do not understand."

"I do. I understood that reference."

Hortense sneakily took a seat at the conference table, hands in front of her, sitting tall and straight, pretending she had been there the whole time.

"I found her, sir," Coulson said from behind her. Tattle tale.

"Grimani, please tell me you have something to tell us," Fury said tensely, arms crossed. She took her time, choosing her worlds wisely.

"We are out of coffee."

"Grimani!" he barked at her. Hortense flinched.

"What?" she shrieked back, throwing her hands up in defense. "Oh yeah, and by the way, Loki has more complexes than a Chinese puzzle. This guy is the perfect villain: Megalomania, narcissism, egotism, and a deeply shattered mindset involving a psychological cycle of self hate as well as hubris and superiority. This guy is a mess."

"Was that in English?" someone asked. Oh, it was Captain America. Oh god, it was Captain America! Looking around her, she realized this was The Team. The Avengers. Huh. They were all here. Tony Stark, S.H.I.E.L.D's personal rich guy and celebrity hero. Captain America who was...Captain America; enough said. Bruce banner AKA the not so jolly green giant. Natasha Romanoff, Russian assassin. And a guy with a weird armor metal shirt thing and really nice arms. And I mean really strong, big, attractive arms. Hortense had never really considered arms 'attractive', but this guy's was wow! She was in a room with the people Nick Fury called when the world was in danger. What an honor.

"Who invited the freaks?" was the first thing out of her mouth.

Natasha sighed. Fury glared with his one good eye. Agent Hill's hand moved towards her gun, reflexively. Behind her, Hortense heard Coulson sharply intake air. Was it something she said? Oh crap, it was something she said!

"I mean freaks in the nicest way possible! Not like circus freaks, all though, Dr. Banner, you whole hulk thing is kind of- I'll shut up now," she said, sinking into her chair.

"This is Dr. Grimani, our head of medicine. She has an intense understanding mental disorders, mental manipulation, physical treatment and care," Fury said.

"I can also make guacamole," She said before slapping a hand firmly over her mouth. She was never going to talk again. At least not in front of living people.


	6. Facing the Storm

"But, like, seriously, we are out of coffee."

Hortense was not surprised that her question was ignored. All of team members had quickly dispersed after she so effectively ended the meeting. She was left sitting at the big round table o' boringness, talking to no one in particular. Fury was being serious and stern faced as usual, orders and remarks flying out of his mouth while eager little puppy-employees fulfilled them. Agent Hill was all business as usual, constructing defense strategies and triple checking the firewalls. Hortense sighed, her spinny chair rotating as she put her feet on top of the table. Her dirty sneakers and jeans were triumphantly odd in this cold official setting. She leaned her head back, bored out of her mind, not caring to eavesdrop on anybody. With a loud exaggerated sigh, she slid out of her chair with the ease only a truly lazy person could muster.

"If anybody needs me, I'll be in the medical bay."

No one noticed.

"I'll probably break lots of expensive equipment. Maybe set a prisoner free. Again."

No one replied. She was sluggishly moved towards the exit, dragging her feet. She looked over her shoulder, seeing her coworkers busy at work.

"Right then. I'll leave. Now."

At which point, Hortense promptly walked into a wall. Oh, scratch that. A big metal chest of weird armor with really nice nice arms. She looked up to find the god of thunder looking down at her.

"Uh...Hi."

"Greetings, small one."

He had nice hair. Like L'Oreal-grade hair. Did L'Oreal make hair products? Inquiring minds want to know. He was peering at her now and she should really say something so she wouldn't seem stupid. Oh god! Think, Brain! Think! Be smart! Be clever!

"Hi." Urggh! Brain, you had one job!

"Greetings again, little one." little? And small? Someone needs to get this guy a thesaurus. Or a bigger word bank. And she wasn't that short.

"I am not short." Oh god, she was talking again. Stop talking Hortense. And she was still right up against his chest which was a nice place to be but weird all the same because he was really tall. Not that she was complaining about the view; Thor was very nice to look especially from this angle. He just looked good, kind of flawlessly attractive.

"It is not a reflection on you. Merely your size. I meant no disrespect," Thor said in a surprisingly soft voice. The God of Thunder gave her a small smile that made her grin like an idiot in return; unfortunately, the novelty began to rub off for Hortense.

"Yeah, I'll move now," Hortense said, stepping to the side to let him pass, feeling herself blush. Thor chuckled again, sounding so much like..well..a god.

"My thanks, Midgaridan." what was it with all these weird names? Before she could say something incredibly stupid (again), Coulson came to her rescue.

"Hey, Grimani. Thor, I am glad you decided to join us," Coulson said politely, as the S.H.I.E.L.D spokesman.

"It is my honor, son of Coul. I wish to provide any assistance you may need concerning Loki. I feel ashamed for my brother's behavior."

"Wait, he's your brother?" Hortense asked.

"Yes, Loki and I are brothers, no matter how much he may deny it."

"Really?" Hortense asked, immediately intrigued. "So he denies his attachment to you and your family? Tell me, Thor- can I call you Thor? Does Loki tend to reject familial relationships?" she asked.

"Loki is...troubled. He is, in truth, adopted. But, I have made it readily clear to him that I will always think of him as my brother. Even that, he can not change," Thor said, his face becoming clouded.

"Adopted?" Hortense asked entering full doctor-mode. "Okay, first things first, just a heads up, he may sort of technically clinically insane. Secondly, did Loki ever seem irresponsible, manipulative, lacked empathy and/or appeared egotistical?"

"What are you asking?" Thor asked, defensively rising to his full height of much-taller-than-Hortense . "Son of Coul, what does she mean by these questions?"

"Thor, she doesn't mean anything by it," Coulson said, once again playing the peacemaker. "She acts like a sort of like a- well, she's kind of- she's just trying to get into Loki's mind."

"So, she is some kind of sorceress, then."

Palm meet face. Hortense sighed. Why were the cute ones always so dumb?

"No, Thor. I am not magical. I am just trying to understand how Loki thinks so we can predict his next move. I mean, is he cold and calculating? Or is he a narcissist with an ego we can pop? Any personality traits you can help us decode his mind and we might be able to predict his next move. Although I am not really sure what more he can do. He is in the Cage. I should probably go check up on him, see if I can get a reading on him. Speaking of which, can you get me access, Coulson?"

"Yep. No problem, Grimani. Just be careful. He's kind of a whack job. No offense, Thor," Coulson said apologetically.

"I do not understand that word," Thor said, unfazed. "What is this 'whack job'?"

"So, I get to meet the Dark God himself," She said, diabolically rubbing her hands together. Coulson rolled his eyes at her as he talked into his bluetooth. "Let the mental sport begin."

"I see. Mind games. That is one of Loki's specialties," Thor said, quietly, almost to himself. He was so massive. He took up so much space; all you could really focus on was him. He was everything you could ever want from a Norse god. Noble, tall, strong. "You must be careful when engaging with him, little one."

"And don't call me 'little one'.Yeah, its cute. In a sweet patronizing way but, you're the freakishly tall dude here! I am a doctor; you can refer to me as such."

"Grimani, you've got your clearance," Coulson said with a slight grin.

"Oh goodie."

"But Doctor, be wary of Loki," Thor said as she left the main deck.

"Will do, Thor!"

She traveled down the corridors, headed for the Cage. The rubber of her soles made skid marks every time she turned a corner. She remember when she first working here, she was paranoid about her shoes. Hortense had been terrified that she would be fired because of the dark black marks her shoes made. it wasn't entirely her fault! She couldn't walk in heels for her life and flats always fell off her feet. For the first week or so, she cleaned off every skid mark she made. She stopped after Fury found in the middle of the hallway one day, cursing loudly at one particular tough mark. He just told her to get off the floor and get back to work. Hortense never minded another skid mark again.

But Hortense was a little paranoid today too but, for an entirely different reason. She was also annoyed and bored and a little worried, to be honest. The tension was rolling off everyone in tsunami waves and she was a helpless little village, drowning in it. Gah! It was so hard to relaxed with these people!

A battle was coming; her skin was almost itching with anticipation. Battles meant injuries and injuries meant her. After she finished her session with the resident villain, she's have to take inventory, check the supplies: bandages, procaine, emergency stitching packages and plasma which she constantly seemed to run out of. Everyone wanted blood transfusion nowadays.

While Hortense made her mental list, she sharply turned a corner and collided with another nice shaped chest. Why was everyone so tall? This time however she ended up sprawled on the floor, due to no fault of her own. Her head hit the floor with a muffled thud. Ow.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming around the corner."

she was suddenly lifted, like a rag doll, off the floor and back on her feet. The blood rushed to her and she swayed slightly, still stunned from the fall. These hallways needs traffic signals or something. And someone needs to restrain tall men from crashing into young and brilliant doctors. She looked up to see Mr. Propaganda as the culprit, clad in his signature red, white and blue. "Are you alright?" he asked his voice laced with concern, hands still on her shoulders as if she was about to fall. Which given her luck today, wasn't totally impossible.

"I am fine!" she said, batting his hands. "It was just a spill! No worries. Maybe a concussion, but no worries!"

"Okay. I am really sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Great. So, Captain America, right?" who else dresses like the fourth of July?

"Steve Rogers, actually."

"Oh, cool. We haven't actually met. I am Dr. Hortense Grimani aka the smartest person on this Helicarrier," She said extending her hand. Steve took it, giving her a tense smile. "I revived you from your frosty slumber."

"Oh," Capt. Aemrica said, quietly. Hortense cocked her head. She was sensing mixed feelings here. Was it resentment? Regret? Awkwardness? The whole ordeal was probably very traumatic for him, waking up 70 years in the future. Her team was in the process of testing him for schizophrenia, depression and other emotional imbalances. But, those plans were now derailed train cars. Because, you know, Cube o' Doom, death, destruction, Squished co-workers.

"We're in the process of creating a whole program to bring up to speed to the 21st century. We've just been..uh...delayed."

"How'd you do it?" Captain America asked, suddenly.

"Huh?

"The- hm...The bringing me back to life."

"Oh! We got this really gigantic microwave and set it on defrost and left you in there for about half an hour-"

Captain America listening to her, absorbing every word she was saying as truth.

"That was a joke," Hortense said as she realized he probably wouldn't get it. The last thing she needed was Coulson barking at her about microwaving Captain America. And then he blushed. Captain frigging-kill-all-the-nazis America blushed.

"Of course its a joke," He muttered, kind of sadly. Jeez, someone get this guys Cymbalta. "A microwave. Its one of those things you cook food with, right?"

"Yeah! Only we don't use it on people because that would be cannibalism and that is frowned on by most societies. My doctors actually used concentrated thermo magnetic devices that slowly removed the ice while maintaining a gradually elevated internal body temperature because hello! We can't have all that cold blood rush into your heart and 'cause your heart could go into cardiac arrest or freezer burn your cerebral cortex. It was very tricky," Hortense concluded, as she and Captain America stood in silence. "Nice suit, by the way." It was spandex. With a big star on it. What else was she going to say about it?

"Its different than what I am used but, it fits and it has most of original design," He said, with sudden zeal. "Do you think it looks okay? Not...dated?"

"Why are you asking me? Do I look like I know fashion?" Hortense said, gesturing to her outfit which consisted of old sneakers, dirty jeans and a shirt that would have looked nice on someone two sizes bigger.

"No! I just assumed-"

"Its because I am a woman, isn't it? ISN'T IT?" she yelled, taking a menacing step towards him.

"No! I just wanted your opinion-"

"Well, sorry to break it you, Mr. Captain America but, this ain't 1943!we have gone through feminist movements and civil rights and dadaism while you were in the icecaps!" she huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of her face, poking him in the chest. She ignored the fact that her finger now felt broken. Damn your pectorals of steel!

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to- uh...insult you, doctor," he said, backing away from the crazy short doctor. She stepped back and huffed, cooling down. She took several deep breaths before speaking again.

"I am sorry. I haven't had my coffee today so I am kind of on edge. I am also breaking in an intern and I just met the god of thunder. So on my list of big things that concern me, you're small potatoes." he stared at her like she had told him their world was being invaded by aliens.

"...I don't think I like you," He said, very slowly

"Well, at least your upfront about it," She said honestly, clapping on the shoulder, which was above her head. Seriously why was everyone so tall?! "See ya, french fry." Why was she calling him french fries? She had no idea. Some how it worked. It didn't matter. She had a god to interrogate.

THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***THE AVENGERS***

the Cage was Fury's solution to the Hulk. Unlike other government organizations and people a.k.a General I-am-frigging-lord-of-the-universe Ross, Fury's backup plan was almost humane in comparison. Okay, there is the little issue of dropping the Hulk out of a plane, 50,000 meters above the earth's surface. But, it was better than come after him with tanks and reinforced steel nets and A-grade missiles. Which looked really bad on Ross' part. At least from a clinical point of view. It was obvious that Ross was incapable of forming meaningful relationships with most people, including his daughter (whom Hulk/Bruce Banner actually used to date. Connection, anyone?). Because of this dysfunctional trait, he tries to save his failed relationships by focusing all of his inner turmoil on one thing, in this case: The Hulk. That or he has way too much free time on his hands. The guy needed a hobby.

But, the Cage. Right, the Cage. It was a fortified prison made out of multilayer steel and some other super strong alloy; its design was similar to the barrel of a gun. Suspended in the center, was the Cage. Ominous enough for you? It was really a stupid name. It wasn't even really a cage. It was more like a...cat food can. It was! Except it was ginormous and made of glass and kind of looked like it was from IKEA. It was a giant, glass, cat food can from IKEA. With a smirking greasy haired Norse god in it. Hortense stepped forward along the catwalk.

"And what have we here?" Loki asked slowly, curiosity dripping from every syllable.

"Uh.. hi. I am Dr. Grimani, head of medicine for S.H.I.E.L.D. And you are currently our prisoner. Congrats on that."

"A doctor?"

"Yes. I just said that. So, you must be Loki, god of mischief? The Trickster?" Hortense asked, moving closer to the glass case. Loki laughed, throwing his head back.

"Yes. I forget that we are mere tales in your lore, Midgardian. And I wonder, Midgardian, what would bring a doctor into the dungeon?"

"Curiosity, mostly. Maybe I just wanted to see who pissed off the Cyclops," she said, holding her clipboard to her chest. Loki chuckled amiably, as if he wasn't a prisoner and she wasn't looking at him like he was a bug under the microscope.

"Cyclops?" he asked, the word foreign on his tongue.

"Oh! Cyclops! You might know them. Maybe not. They are a part of Greek mythology which is kind of like you actually because you are...you know... mythological!"

"Mythological?" Loki asked, the words rolling off his tongue sounding far more exotic then normal. 'Why was he British?' Hortense suddenly wondered.

"yes, mythological. Logic of myths. That's what you are. The Cyclops were these one eyed giant monsters who were mean and aggressive and all around bad guys."

"...And you refer to your leader with the name of this...monster?" Loki asked, swaying on the balls of his feet as he spoke.

"...Yeah," she said weakly, her voice squeaked. She secretly hoped that Fury was not watching over the video camera system. "Its funny. Because he has...one eye...and he's mean and aggressive. Cyclops. Hahaha?" she asked, gripping the railing. Stop trying making the prisoner laugh, Hortense!

Hortense had forgotten how high it was up here. It was at least a 40 foot drop and that meant 16 fractured bones if you landed on your back or belly. It was 52 if you fell on your head, not including fractured vertebrae.

"Nervous?" Loki smirked as he caught her looking down. She snapped her head up. Show no fear, Grimani. No fear.

"No!" she said, defensively. She gripped the railing, promising herself not to look down. "I was just- I was just wondering if you were predisposed to impulsive tendency caused by emotional stress?"

"What?" Loki asked. He stared at her, befuddled. She did that a lot, befuddle people.

"Loki, you are what we, 'midgardians', like to call clinically insane," she said, using air quotes. As if on cue, he grinned dementedly.

"You attempt to diminish my claim on this world by labeling me? You call me 'insane'?" Loki asked, slowly moving towards the glass with the slow wary steps. He had a kind of sort of swagger, for lack of a better word.

"Look, I just met your bro and-"

"He is not my brother!" he hissed. Suddenly Loki was up against the glass, glaring at her with his steely eyes, his fists clenched. She jumped back, startled by his sudden hostile behavior. He looked like a bottled ice storm, made up of coldness, fury and intensity. She stepped forward. This nerve was open and exposed, ready to be poked.

"Really? Well, he seemed quite eager to claim you as his little brother."

the cool composure he previously had was gone; Hortense realized the only thing separating her from Loki was a layer of glass. He peered down at her, his eyes sunken in and dark. He looked so sick. Loki opened his mouth; The words came out slowly and spiteful.

"I am not insane to think that it is within my right to rule over your pathetic race. You all will be my subjects and I shall be your ruler and your god."

Hortense considered appropriate responses to his comment. She had worked with psychopaths, criminal masterminds and villains before and the calm polite approach usually worked the best. It was usually best to humor them However, Hortense wasn't known for being orthodox. She snorted.

"Jesus! You've got quite an ego don't you, Mr. Loki?" she asked, looking down at her clipboard. Very VERY arrogant. Over compensating? She shook her head in amusement. She had heard the 'I-am-so-far-above-you' speech about ten billion times. "You wanna answer some questions for me, Loki?"

"Pleasantries. Jests," Loki said, with a huff of disdain. He raised an arms against the glass to peer at her, giving her that same hollow insane grin. Anyone else would have bristled but, she stared back at him. "What do you really want to know, doctor?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, calmly.

"What is your stake in this world? You aren't fighting or dying for it, like your fellow soldiers. But, you aren't living in it either, like the rest of your race. You are cut off from the rest of the world, aren't you?"

"Mind games? Really?" she asked, bored.

"I have a way with words."

"Right. Silver tongue? I'm pretty sure I read something about magic too? If you are so much better than us, 'puny people', why don't you just teleport yourself out of our prison? Don't you have places to be? People's minds to steal?" Hortense asked, staring down the god. Well, technically staring up. He stared back, looking angry and crazed and deserted and gleeful.

"All in good time, Doctor."

He smiled, as if he had just realized something. Loki chuckled, low and throaty. He moved away from the glass, stepping backwards, his eyes never leaving hers. "Does it anger you?" Loki asked.

"Does what anger me?"

"Does it anger you to know that I achieved what you failed to do?" Loki asked, staring at her intently. His gaze was malicious, as if he had a cruel secret.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Hortense knew exactly what Loki was talking about.

"To have total supreme control of the human mind," Loki whispered, coming closer to the glass again. while she was mainly focused on his speech, in the back of her mind Hortense was getting very bothered by his heavy breathing. he was fogging up the glass. Was he planning on wiping it off later? Loki was restless, unsure of his setting despite his cool demeanor. Or maybe he was anxious, waiting for something to close, she saw that he looked marginally better; he wasn't as sweaty but, he still looked incredibly tired, with big raccoon eyes. World domination was taking a toll on him. Hortense still didn't get his hair. Long and black and oily, the ends curling upwards.

"So you used your scepter to infiltrate our agents' minds. So what?" Hortense asked, still eying the gray cloud of moisture on the glass. "You want a cookie?"

"Come now! You must, by now know I have access to all of my followers thoughts and memories."

"Yes, a neural transfer is usually two way-ed, like a door. Any amateur neural practitioner knows-"

"No, No. this was not your Midgardian science," Loki corrected her, grinning like a child with a secret. "I enlightened them. I gave them truth. And they are mine now. Everything they know, I know. Everything they hear, I hear. Everything they see, I see-"

"Well, aren't you a regular greasy haired Peeping Tom?"

The fist came out of nowhere, shattering the silence with both surprise and strength. Hortense jumped back, suddenly terrified that he had broken out and was going to kill her for her sassy remarks. what a way to die. It was a moment before she realized Loki was still in the Cage, restrained and curbed. Her heart was still pounding in her chest; she could feel it.

"I am giving you answers! You will listen, inferior creature!" Loki hissed her with contempt. There was a little bit of acting that went into interrogation. Loki kept changing the game, going from angry upset child to cold calculating mastermind to the enraged vengeful killer. At this point, he was loosening up, speaking freely and unrestrained. Aka it was the best point to pull information from him. It was just a matter of playing along. Hortense nodded emphatically, still acting the part of the terrified meek doctor. Loki however didn't seem to buy it. He was still glowering at her.

"Answers?"

"I enlightened them, my subjects. And you and your cohort are the sickly skeptics who cannot understand the purity of it-"

"Okay! I am gonna stop you their, Loki. Dial down your inner religious fundamentalist. Give me psychopaths and serial killers any day but, I don't do crazy fanatics," she said, getting rather pissed off.

"Then what do you do, Hortense?" he breathed, softly, sincerely. She refused to wonder how Loki even knew her name, let alone the fact that he spoke her first name. Nobody called her by her first name; it was startling to hear someone say it out loud and it made her bristle to hear it coming from a mass murdering god. It was too familiar and...intimate for her taste.

"I heal people and take care of them."

"Do you kill them?"

"What?! No, You crazy ass god! What the hell kind of question is that!? 'Do you kill them?'" she asked, badly mocking his voice. "What kind of stupid question is that? Did you not just hear what I said?! I am a doctor. I save them, idiot."

"I wonder if you are trying redeem yourself for something. Why else would you work here, saving the protectors of earth?" Loki asked, casually as if she hadn't just blown up in his face.

"The good dental plan?" Hortense asked, fuming. She turned to leave. She was done with this psychopath. He shook his head at her, still smirking. "What? You got a better idea of what I want, jerk?"

"You want purpose to your life. You want to wake up everyday and know what you are doing is glorious and right," Loki said honestly, not being hostile or teasing or angry anymore. Just simply honest. And very persuasive. She stopped, not turning to face him. "It is not a wrongful dream. I can see how it drives you forward. It is your motivation," Loki coaxed. Hortense turned around to face him, holding the clipboard tightly to her chest. Loki straightened.

"And that is what is so perfect about truth! Once you accept it, you live by it forever. You'd have a purpose, Hortense...You would have redemption."

The doctor's fists clenched, her nails cutting her flesh. She wasn't particularly violent but, every once in a while she had an aching to pummel everything around her. But, she wasn't an agent or a solider or even that good with pepper spray. That's why she liked working for S.H.I.E.L.D. She fixed the fighters; she made sure they could do their jobs. She was important. They needed her.

And here he was trying to coerce her into joining his zombie army, staring at her with those great big evil puppy eyes. People had died and here he was. She was angry, angry that Loki could get under skin, angry that she still didn't know how to reverse the mind control, angry that he was a shifty table-turning bastard and that she was probably gonna miss Doctor Who tonight.

"Do you have a purpose, Loki? Must you surpass your brother by ruling a whole planet? Heck, will that even be enough?" she asked, her voice taking a sinister mocking tone. Loki's face grew dark, as she gave him a false smile. "You came here to show the universe that you could do it, that you could be a ruler and you can't! You will never amount to anything because you are not a ruler and you are not a king! You make a big show of being the Big Bad God coming to gloriously rule us all but, you are just bitter and cold. Ice cold."

"I am warning you-" he said harshly practically fuming. Hortense stepped right up to the Cage to mock him.

"What?! What are you going to do? You are in a Cage! What are you going to do to me? Chat me to death? Yeah! Good luck with that, Captain Can't Do!" she said, doing a little dance to show her freedom. His gaze became cold with fury. Just like a bottled storm. Fierce, powerful, and contained. So many dead. So many relatives and daughter and fathers and friends. Oh, the cost of a maniac's pride.

"I'll make you suffer."

"You're pathetic."


	7. Hortense Meets Tony

Loki was a jerk. He wasn't the evil cruel villain she was used to dealing with. Underneath all of that arrogance and posturing, he was just...tricky. And a jerk. Hortense sighed as she left the cage, glancing briefly at her watch. 3:28 am. Great. Well, that was a borderline pointless visit. Almost. Loki was a cannon of reckless energy and as put together as he might seem, his logic was very faulty. Even though he had proven himself a threat to S.H.I.E.L.D, Loki was more likely to burn out before he accomplished his big master plan. Not to mention he was also such a drama queen.

"Dr. Grimani!" someone yelled. Crap, somebody was looking for her. She spun around, not sure whether to run away or trip them. It was Newbie. Run or trip.

"Hi! I am so glad I caught you! We- Jess and me finished the reports and here they are!" he said way too energetically, thrusting the papers towards, with an insanely happy smile. Despite his happy demeanor, he looked like a zombie. There were huge bags under his eyes his skin looked all pale and dead-like and - oh that's what he normally looked like. But, he always kind of bouncing with frightening energy. Zombies don't bounce. She should have chosen to trip him. She gave a terse smile and slowly accepted the papers. His grin widened and she winced.

"Are you one of those abnormal weird people who gets hyper the less the sleep?" Hortense asked slowly backing away from Newbie.

"I guess! I mean- there is all so cool and I guess time really does fly when you're having fun-"

"Just stop. Stop talking," she said, harshly. "You have too much energy and you're making me hate humanity."

"Oh. Okay," he said, his mood not dampening at all. It was crazy how young he looked. She shook her head at him.

"How old are you?" she asked, as she leafed through the reports.

"Oh, I'm 23. I know! Crazy young, right!? I can't even believe how quick it all went! You know, undergraduate and then pre-med school and then-"

"Are you like related to the energizer bunny or something? Be quiet. Go back to the medical bay and hm- organize a response team...Jessica will show you how to do it," Hortense added. "Go. Go on."

"Oh! Right!" he said, before running off.

She grinned, as she glanced at the reports. He was just like an annoying puppy. She flipped through the papers, glancing at them when something caught her eye. Well actually, her nose. A deep rich smell wafted from the papers where a dark brown substance had stained them.

"Is this coffee!? He had the last COFFEE? And spilled it on my reports?! What twisted mind would do something like that!?"

THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*LOKI'D*THE*AVENGERS*THE*AVENGERS*

"Unbelievable!"

So now, not only did she have to deal with tantalizing coffee stained papers but, she now was unable to sit in the corridors. Apparently, she was a 'fire hazard and according to safety protocols blah blah blah she had to move'. She just muttered a few choice words and left, too tired to argue. Whatever. Fine.

What was she thinking?! Nothing was fine. Some of S.H.I.E.L.D's best agents were brainwashed and still at large while their loco leader was trapped on their Helicarrier. Loki's minions were almost as bad as a religious cult except they were brainwashed to do what ever was necessary for their leader no matter the cost. Scratch that. They are exactly as bad a religious cult. Not to mention the fact, that Barton and Selvig knew Fury well enough to predict his move.

So why was Loki so easy to capture?

This whole thing was fishy. Usually Hortense tried to keep out of security matters but, this was like a flashing neon light. They were vulnerable. If only Barton and the other brain-washees had some sort of remote mind chip that could erase Loki's spell or brainwashing. That would level the playing field. Unfortunately, the neurochip idea had been rejected about 5 month ago do to 'expenses'.

What if Selvig or someone hacked S.H.I.E.L.D's defense protocols? What if they were detonated the sleeper agents? What if they were already on board the Helicarrier? What if they found her internet history?! Hortense's paranoia was too much to bear!

So that was Hortense's very valid reasoning on why she should be in Selvig's lab. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Tony Stark was in there. Well, he was a medical marvel. using an arc reactor to suction pieces of shrapnel from piercing your heart and causing severe internal hemorrhaging was brilliant. But, that didn't even matter because she was a S.H.I.E.L.D high priority employee. She had access to everything and she could be anywhere on the Helicarrier.

"Um...no. This is a S.H.I.E.L.D personnel free zone. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," Tony friggin' Stark said as she entered the lab.

"I- uh- actually-" Crap. Crap. Crap. "Yes, I can. I'm just- head of me-Hort- I'm Dr. Grimani, head of medicine. For S.H.I.E.L.D. Because that's where I work," Hortense muttered, regretting her life. Now Tony friggin' Stark was looking at her like an idiot. Oh god this was so weird. How the hell do you act around a billionaire with really good facial hair? Just treat him like a normal person, Hortense.

"So what's it like having so much money?" palm meet face. The resounding smack was satisfying as Tony giggled. Great, he was laughing at her. With her sigh, her shoulders slump. "I just- I just need to use Selvig's computer," she stuttered out, looking anywhere but the smirking self righteous genius that was Tony Stark

"Oh, hello uh...doctor," Dr. Banner called while attaching wires to the scepter that glowed. She grunted in response as she quickly hacked his computer. When she had first started working for S.H.I.E.L.D, Hortense had accidentally forgotten her security clearance password. The doctor had bribed one of the a bored personnel officer to give her an elementary lesson in government grade network hacking. And oddly enough Dr. Selvig's password 'Buffalo'. Every single time. She bypassed his firewalls and got into his network. If she remember correctly, Hortense only had to check the control panel and go to the system security and someone was standing behind her.

She whipped around to find Tony Stark standing over, smirking at her obvious discomfort. Ooh, here it came: the paranoia. Okay admittedly she did work for a super duper powerful organization so Hortense couldn't really be sue for hacking someone's personal computer, right? And besides Tony Stark wouldn't turn her in to whoever, right? Oh god it was like a really bizarre dream: Tony Stark turning it She felt her face heat up in embarrassment as she tried to come up with a good reason for violating someone's right to privacy.

"I-I-I was just- I was looking up- checking my e-mail. Yeah," Hortense said, exiting out of all the programs while trying to appear calm, cool and above all innocent. Yes. Good. Tony Stark seemed to take her sudden change into account, moving back to give her space. She sank back into the spinny chair, watching Tony Stark. She really needed to stop calling Tony Stark. Just Tony. Or Stark. Or Mr. Stark. Or Anthony. No, not Anthony.

"So you just hacked a computer for no apparent reason?" Stark asked with a grin, sitting on the edge of the desk. He just oozed confidence, the opposite of Hortense who wasn't use to it. He was such a billionaire, acting like he could buy and sell the whole world. This was the first time Hortense had ever met him, even thought she was quite intimate with the arc reactor and the health aspects of it. She had predicted the core poisoning before palladium began to deteriorate. And he was...attractive to say the very very minimum least. And he looked very expensive too. He wore high quality jeans that were obviously not from Target and even his Black Sabbath shirt seemed Über fancy. And that facial hair. Damn! And he certainly wasn't as nearly as an annoying self obsessed d-bag as Coulson had made him out to be. Although his arrogance was slightly off putting.

"Uh...well." If this was anyone else she probably would have come up with an unbelievably shitty yet acceptable lie. "Yeah. I may have technically hacked Selvig's computer. But it was- I was just- I wanted-" What could she say? That she wasn't breaking into someone's private computer. "I was hacking. No good excuse."

"Huh. What a coincidence. Me too."

"What?"

"Admittedly, I am doing a much better job than you, what with me being an incredible computer genius and you're obviously...not," He said looking at her once over. Okay here came the annoying doucebaggery. "Although honestly, I really expected S.H.I.E.L.D. to pick up on me breaching their incredible security system a little bit sooner," Tony Stark said, giving her an oh so cool smirk. Hortense's jaw dropped. What the hell? Oh crap, she had been working at S.H.I.E.L.D. far too long; she had forgotten to behave around jerks! Okay, admittedly he was a genius jerk, but a jerk all the same and she had been stuck with the antisocial agents, Hortense had forgotten her total lack of social skills.

"No, I'm not a computer person. I'm a doctor. The doctor. The Head doctor."

"So, you do what? Make sure everyone's mentally stable? Because, hon, let me tell you, you aren't exactly meeting your quota, what with all the paranoid nuerotic agents named Coulson you let run around free,"Tony said, sauntering around the room, in a circle, adjusting levels on the touch screens. "Speaking of which, you all need to loosen up. You're infecting civilians. I mean, come on! Look at poor Bruce over there! He's practically bursting with nervous energy."

Said scientist looked up quickly then back down, focusing on the scepter.

"No, I just- I am not used to being around-"

"Actual civiliazation?" Hortense asked, suddenly actually paying attention to the other scientist.

"Beaucratic jack asses who are liable to get you angry?" Tony asked. She glared at him and he gave her an obnoxious grin.

"People with guns," he murmured quietly before going back to work. Hortense felt embrassed suddenly; she ought to be more sensitive. Even Tony could distingush the shift in mood. He breathed deeply and went back to monitoring the energy levels or radiation ourput or whatever, quietly. Hortense went back to hacking Selvig's computer now that Tony was done tormenting her. They all worked in sharp silence. And that lasted about 10 minutes.

"Ever been to Madrid, Banner?" Tony asked light-heartedly, shattering the silence, suddenly on the opposite side of the room.

"No," Banner said simply.

"Really? How about you, doc?"

"What?" Hortense asked.

"Madrid, ever been? Or are all S.H.I.E.L.D agents grown and bred to be work drones?"

"I'm not an agent; I'm a-"

"Doctor. I got that earlier. But that still does not explain why the hell you are here?" Tony asked, his once playful attitude now becoming suspicious. "Where one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s biggest priorities and the Hulk just happened to be?"

"I don't understand," She said, looking up from the computer.

"What I am trying to say is, Doc, is that I am not fond of having Fury's little nark watching me. Got it? I didn't like when little Ms. Russian spy did it and I do not appreciate it when you are doing it, okay?"

"I'm a nark? What- You do realize you are being extremely paranoid, right?"

"I've had a rough night what with the two maniac Asgardians, not to mention preventing the Loco one from massacring an opera house, on behalf of your precious organization."

"Hey, I don't give out the orders."

"yeah, I realize that, Hortense, and what kind of name is that anyway," Tony asked.

"What?" Oh crap. Was he accessing her files?

"Wow, did you really ask for permission to visit Florida? Damn, Fury keeps you all on a tight leash than I thought. No wonder you're so uptight."

Hortense jumped out of her chair and over to Tony.

"No! No! No! No!"

"Yes. Yes. Yes," Tony said, gleefully in response as he dug through her files. "My! Hortense, you have a big crime record!"

"I was never convicted!"she said, knocking into Tony. That is probably the worst response ever. Once he was out of the way though, she still didn't know how to close the screen. She was left waving her arms helplessly in front of the screen like a fat turkey. Great, she was acting like a fat turkey in front of Tony Fuckin' Stark.

"Relax," Tony said with a chuckle, quickly closing the screen. "It was just a joke."

She took the handiest thing, her clipboard, and hit him with it on the arm

"Ow!"

"Can guys not do that here?" came a voice. Oh yeah, Bruce Banner.

"oh, sorry," she said, backing away from Tony, glaring.

"She started it," Tony said, purposely antagonizing her with a smirk. Oh boy.

"Douche!" she cried as she hit him again.

"Guys! Please stop it. or else."

Tony and Hortense froze, looking from each other to Banner and then each other before giggling. It took two crazy people to laugh at the idea of possibly being pulverized. Banner looked at them, slowly realizing his slip of tongue.

"No- I was going to...lose it. I-I was going to get security. Or something," he mumbled to himself.

"Don't worry about it, Bruce," Tony said. "I think let off a little of that steam. Don't you think so to, Doctor?"

"Professionally? I guess. I mean, I don't mean full on hulk-out, with all the smashing and destroying," Hortense said, looking at Banner who quickly looked away shyly. "But, some reinforced control release might be benef-"

"See! even the doc agrees with me," Tony said, cutting her off again. Hortense rolled her eyes. "This thing you've got can fester and rot. You ever think of embracing it? You know, loosening up, because you're pretty tightly wound. Also, the cluster recognition pattern, you wanna measure radioisotopes by megahertz or KeV?"

"Uh...Megahertz. That would probably be best. We want to track the wavelengths as well."

"Exactly what I was thinking. What can I say? Genius minds think alike-"

"So this is Loki's scepter?" Hortense asked, effectively cutting off Tony. She walked towards the scepter giving Tony her own smirk.

"Excuse me," Tony said, like the offended drama queen he was. "I was talking to-"

"Fine, then. Talk about the scepter. How does it work?" Hortense asked the scientists, crossing her arms. Banner looked from her to Tony who dramatically rolled his eyes at her.

"Like you would understand it."

"Try me." honestly, she probably wouldn't but, that doesn't mean she couldn't nod understandingly.

"Doctors," Tony muttered with a sigh, with a melodramatic turn. He gracefully collapsed into her chair and pulled out a shiny bag of...something. She turned her attention back to Banner.

"Well, the staff contains a power source of unknown energy which gives off gamma rays."

"And that's the blue orb-y thing?"

"Yes. It also...um, these gamma rays that it gives off are nearly the same as the Tesseract which I- We are in the process of locating. I just need to measure the velocity and compensate for all of the variables and then we should have a basic cluster recognition pattern."

"Cool. So do you think this thing is capable of mind control?" Hortense asked, peering down at the scepter. It was beautiful, like some old Nordic relic. You know, except for the glowing blue orb that shone like a nightlight. The scepter itself was made out of fine lustrous gold, but in some places it was grimy and worn down, as if it was in constant use. As it curved towards the orb, Hortense could see little glyphs and runes. It was probably Asgardians or something like that. It all seemed very meticulous.

"Its very interesting," Hortense said, getting an hair's breadth from the orb. She could feel it pulsing slightly, as if it was alive. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Banner shift nervously, watching her as he adjusted something on the screen. Righting herself up, she continued. "So, How does it work? As a weapon, I mean. Loki took out, like what, 50 people with this thing."

"Oh! My department!" Tony said, hopping up. No matter what is audience Tony Stark obviously loved being the star of the show. He pranced over to the table; Hortense moved out of the way for him, while Bruce removed his glasses and folded his arms. "Our little Asgardian used some sort of reverse energization, probably by altering the thermodynamics. And if I am right, which I usually am, this center of this is made up of highly concentrated plasma."

"Like lightning?" Bruce asked.

"Or blood?"

"Sort of yes and yes. It has the same potential energy of lightning which is incredible for something this compressed and it is does act like blood plasma. I've picked up traces of dissolved proteins like globulin-"

"and fibrinogen?"

"Exactly. You know your stuff, doctor. Hopkins?"

"Harvard. Full scholarship," Hortense said, defensively crossing her arms.

"Really?" Tony remarked, looking genuinely surprised. "You don't look it. The hair! Its the hair. You have crazy librarian hair, not preppy Hampshire hair."

"No, I don't know," Hortense said, conscientiously touching her frizzy unwashed hair. "I haven't showered in three days." Oh, brilliant thing to tell a billionaire, Hortense!

"And what Harvard kid says that? Ah, relax. I've seen worse, Hermione."

"I do not have Hermione hair!"

"Grimani?"

Hortense spun around, clutching her hair to find Coulson in the doorway of the lab. He was holding gray folders with the S.H.I.E.L.D emblem on them. She hear Tony snicker behind her.

"Ah, well if it isn't Agent himself?"

"Stark," Coulson tersely greeted. "Grimani, Fury would like a word."

"What? Why? I just-"

"Now, Grimani," he said firmly, reminding her all too much of the Supernanny. Oh god, Coulson was in Supernanny mode. Something was definitely up.

"Oh. Okay," she said, picking up her clipboard and moving to leave the lab. Coulson gave Tony a mean look before leaving. Tony sneered at Coulson, spinning on his heels. Coulson rolled his eyes. Surprisingly, Hortense liked Tony. He was everything you could expect from him. Smart, suave and cool. Definitely cool.

"Nark!"

And a douche bag as well.

"Douche!" Hortense called over her shoulder with a grin. She heard laughter as she turned the corner. Coulson was shaking his head at her.

"What? Like you were thinking any different? So what if I referred to him as a type of vaginal irrigation?"

Coulson broke out in laughter, grinning ear to ear.

"Is that what it means? Douche?" Coulson asked, grinning like an idiot. Hortense nodded and he chuckled again, wiping at his eyes a bit.

"That just made my day."

"Good. Besides, he is douche. He said I have Hermione hair."

"And that's...bad?" Coulson said, unsure of the implication. Hortense rolled her eyes.

"Have you read the books, Coulson!? Hell, have you seen the movies even? She's like a big hairy meatball," Hortense said, dragging her fingers along the cool metal walls.

"If it helps, your hair doesn't look like a meatball. Its kind of flat."

"Oh, gee. That makes me feel just great. So what does the boss want from me?"

"Aside from the humiliating parody of an interrogation you did?"

"Oh yeah," Hortense said, scratching the back of her neck. She felt herself blush. "So, yo-you saw that?"

"We played it on the big screen."

"The big one!? The one hooked up to all the servers-"

"Yes."

"With the audio?" Hortense whimpered.

"Yes. We made the interns watch it to learn the don't of interrogations. It was very amusing."

"Crap," Hortense said, pulling a picard-face palm. Ugh. She hated the idea of people watching her from the security cams. It was weird. Yeah, the place was furnished from floor to ceiling with every little piece of security but, still. It wasn't exactly her most shining moment.

"Its either that or comedic genius. This way," Coulson said, sharply turning a corner. The agent led her into one of the conference rooms. Fury stood looking at the window, looking at the dark gray night sky. Hill stood by his side, reminding Hortense very much of a Rottweiler as Fury's second-in-command stared her down; Hortense was 76% sure that was Agent Hill's spirit animal. Or maybe she was a Doberman. Hill looked at the doctor, her blue eyes narrowing; she could practically hear a growl. Yep, a 100% Doberman Pinscher. Hortense stepped forward when, she realized Natasha was also in the room, seated at the table, as quiet and calm as ever.

Fury turned around, putting his hands on the table. His shoulders sagged and Hortense, with her acute attention, could detect the smallest tremor in his hands, probably due to stress or exhaustion. Fury had chronic insomnia due to low levels of cytokine. It didn't help that he had one of the most stressful jobs in the world. She was already, in her mind, prescribing a two week rest for him. She wondered if he would actually take it. Oh, he was speaking.

"-We need to maintain control of this situation. We are beginning to slip and we cannot slip. Loki is our prisoner but, the Tesseract is still at large and our agents are still compromised. We have not won yet," Fury said, looking at each of them with his one eye. His eye found hers and she gave a heavy nod to show her support. He slid the a file across the table with all the cool awesomeness of a bad ass spy. She appreciated the toss at slid across the table, over the edge and right onto the floor. The papers flew out of the sheath, scattering all around them. Wow.

"Crap! Sorry! God- I just-"

"Grimani-"

"I'm sorry! I just-" she ranted awkwardly as she tried to clutch all of the papers to her chest.

"Grimani, this is all the information we have on Loki and the rogue agents. Reverse. The. Mind control," He said very slowly. She nodded quickly, blushing furiously. She managed to shove all of the folder into a semi-neat slightly crinkled pile. Fury began to discuss security or something with Coulson, Hill and Romanoff. She pulled out her glasses, looking over the papers. Yeah, she was nearsighted; you want to make something of it? The file was full of autopsy reports of the casualties in Germany, along with blurred static-y security shots of the rogue agents. She spotted agent Barton among them, sporting his signature bow. Figures. Despite being bent to the will of a deluded demigod, Clint Barton would still keep his bow and arrow. She recalled meeting the agent, well actually taking care of a wound till he growled at her to hurry up. Hortense responded with a particularly painful tug of the gauze keeping the flesh of his arm in place, while telling him in a very loud, very high pitched voice that this was her first day and she was not gonna lose anyone today. And that was how Hortense met Hawkeye. That was also the time Hawkeye got attacked by the Japanese prostitute with a scalpel. Ah, the good old days.

Then came the autopsy reports which were less of a stroll down memory lane. Most of these deaths were, for lack of a word, collateral damage: people caught in mid-fire, running into traffic. There were also the security guards who each took an arrow to the heart. Hawkeye. Or at least, the reports named Agent Barton as the killer. He seemed to be acting more like a sleeper agent. For one thing, Agent Barton, or any agent at all for that matter, would not let themselves be photographed. He was being way to plain, like he wanted to be seen.

The words began to blur together, as her mind drifted. Coffee she could really go for coffee. No. focus. You've just gotta stay focus. Both the lungs and heart were punctured by an arrow. Wow, that must have been a messy autopsy. It was an excellent shot, though. Coffee is excellent too. And cake. God damn it. Hortense leaned back in her seat, tilting her head back. She was so tired and her neck ached. The others were still chattering to themselves, looking way to serious for 4 in the morning. She slid into her seat, hoping to sneak maybe five minutes of sleep.

"Grimani, your access to all prisoners is being temporarily revoked," Fury stated to her, waking her up.

"Mmm...kay. Wait, what!?"

"As soon as this is done or until I say so, I don't want you anywhere near Loki. I've got the World Security Council paying close attention to us and I do not want to give them any reason to take control of this agency."

"But... But...I can't even really argue with that," Hortense admitted, dejectedly. She slouched in her seat, propping her feet on the table. Fury stared her down with that one dark eye. Hortense avoided his eye, looking from her shoes to the window till finally her eyes found his. She sheepishly removed her feet. "I am I didn't even really learn anything from Loki. 'cept that he is megalomaniac with a straight and narrow mind set. And I mean, really narrow, like religious douche bag narrow. Also, he's practically bursting with pride. And he's quick to anger. Come to think of it, he's got tons of faults," Hortense added, a planning forming in her mind.

"Faults worth exploiting?" Natasha inquired, crossing her arms.

"He's hasn't played his hand yet," Coulson reported. "He is far to smug to be in the cage."

"Agreed. He'd got a trick and we need to find it out," Fury stated, talking more to himself then to the people in the room. "I think if we play this right, we could find out what he's hiding. Black Widow?"

"On it," the spy answered, quickly leaving the room. Hortense watched her go, wondering what plan she had come up with.

"What do we do?" Coulson requested, drawing her attention back to the table.

"We get ready," Fury spoke, turning back to the window, hands behind his back, looking majestic as hell. Wait, get ready? For what?

"What?" Hortense asked, the word resounding around the room.

"You do realize we're at a level 7?" Coulson inquired with a note of concern. Hortense's yes grew wide.

"Are you kidding me? Level 7?! I didn't- No one told me- Fuck, I am sorry, guys," Hortense muttered, embarrassed. Fuck, she had been acting like a child this whole time. Level 7 was known throughout the agency to be the worst possible scenario. It meant global catastrophe. It meant that the World Security Council, the most toughest most intimidating people were scared shitless. Oh.

"No, we should have told you-"

"I know but, I should have been more observant-"

"Grimani, shut up." but, she didn't.

"So what are we going to do?"

"The Avengers initiative," Coulson replied.

"The superhero project? The Council gave you permission?" Hortense asked. Fury turned.

"Well, not necessarily-"

"But, they gave the go ahead?" Coulson asked. He was a stickler for permission.

"Not really. I just- Look! We're at a level 7 security breach and this is my goddamn agency! I have faith that this will work. When the time comes they will gather together to save us."

"Wow," Hortense stated spinning the chair sided to side. "That'll probably be the tag line for the movie."

"But, sir, maybe we should call in back up or-" Hill began.

"Whoa! Where have you been?" Hortense asked.

"Some of use are actually trying to do our jobs, doctor."

"Yeah. Speaking of which, I'm going to scoot because I'm allergic to Hill's personality, so see ya."

The*Avengers**The*Avengers**The*Avengers**The*Avengers**The*Avengers**The*Avengers**

"Hello, underlings," Hortense said, strolling into the medical bay. Jessica said, looking up from her laptop. Jessica gave her an absurdly pleasant smile and a nod as she continued typing. Newbie poked his head out from behind a shelf.

"Hellooo," he chimed. Dear god, why was everyone so happy.

"Okay, first things first. Stop being so happy. Both of you."

"Right," Jessica stated absently. "We'll get right on that."

"Yep. We will try," Newbie said, coming around on of the tables to stand in front of her. "Most definitely."

"'Kay. Next thing: We're at Level 7 security-"

"What?!" Jessica shrieked. "7? Not 6? or a 6.5? 7?"

"Yes, Jessica. We're at Level 7. As I previously stated," Hortense dictated. Jessica eeped and stood up.

"We've got to prepare Emergency Plan Alpha Whiskey!"

"Yes. And also-"

"Wait, whats the whole level thing?"

"Its the 7th frigging level of security, Newbie! God, what is up with you two? You two are like the worst the subordinates in history! Stop questioning me!" Hortense commanded, causing the lanky college graduate to visibly shrink from her.

"I just wondered what level 7 meant?" He inquired in a small voice.

"Oh that. Level 7 is-"

"Level 7 means threat of global-" Jessica interrupted, before Hortense stopped her. "Jessica, stop. You're acting super weird and just...stop. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll just go-"

"You go start Emergency Plan Alpha Whiskey. There's a good girl," Hortense whispered in a very patronizing way. Jessica nodded; Hortense noticed that the young girl of twenty something looked particularly exhausted. She was generally rather pretty but, right now Jessica just looked...scary for lack of a better word. She looked pale and exhausted and a little emotionally scarred. Briefly and a little intrusively, Hortense glanced down at her laptop. Jessica had been looking at the list of casualties. Or more specifically the doctors. Hortense didn't really like forming relationships with co-workers or you know, people, but, maybe Jessica knew somebody and maybe that someone was dead.

"So..." speaking of people, he was a particularly annoying one.

"What?" Hortense snapped back at Newbie.

"Whats Level 7?"

"Didn't you read the general S.H.I.E.L.D manual?"

"Was it a big paperback book, 750 pages long with very graphic visuals?"

"Yep."

"No. never read it."

"Wow. Okay, Level 7 means full security blow-out. Basically, the entire planet is endanger and we need to save it."

"And by we, you mean?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. The agents and the teams and the groups of incredibly attractive yet, highly skilled professionals they bring in. Welcome to the workforce," Hortense stated, clapping him on the shoulder. "Now, go do work stuff."

"Okay- wait! What do we do?" Newbie asked. Hortense sighed. Worst. Underlings. Ever.

"Newbie, you've grasped this whole global catastrophe idea, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, now, global catastrophe means lots of fighting. Lots of fighting means lots of bleeding. We stop bleeding. Get it?"

"Right. So I should do what?" Palm, meet face.

"Go check inventory or something. Make sure we've got enough emergency supplies."

"But-"

"Go!" Hortense snapped, pointing towards the cabinet. He scurried off. "I honestly don't see how this could get any worse."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are greatly GREATLY appreciated.   
> Please please please please write something. seriously! just write "good" or "so-so!" or "why the hell is hortense so lame?" just give me a comment!


End file.
